Madame Arcati: Is there anyone there? Is there anyone there? One wrap for yes. Two wraps for no. Is there anyone there?
Elvira Condomine: Get me to bed, Charles. Then we can talk in peace.
Charles Condomine: A thoroughly immoral suggestion. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Charles Condomine: Try to see my point of view, dear. I've been married to Ruth for five years and you've been dead for seven.
Elvira Condomine: Not dead, Charles. Passed over. Its considered very vulgar to say dead where I come from.
Ruth Condomine: There's no need to be aggressive, Charles. I'm doing my best to help you.
Ruth Condomine: Alcohol will ruin your whole life if you allow it to get ahold on you, you know.
Charles Condomine: Once and for all, Ruth, I'd like you to understand that what happened last night was nothing whatever to do with alcohol! I grant you it may have been some form of psychic delusion, but I was stone cold sober from first to last.
Ruth Condomine: Will you be in for lunch, Charles?
Charles Condomine: Please don't worry about me. I shall be perfectly happy with a bottle of gin in my bedroom.
Ruth Condomine: Don't be silly dear.
Elvira Condomine: Well, why shouldn't I have fun. I died young, didn't I?
Charles Condomine: I know I wasn't drunk. If I'd been all that drunk, I should have a dreadful hangover, shouldn't I?
Ruth Condomine: I'm not at all sure that you haven't.
Charles Condomine: Well, I haven't the trace of a headache. My tongues not coated. Look at it.
Ruth Condomine: I haven't the least desire to look at your tongue. Kindly put it in again.
Madame Arcati: You're just in time for a cup of tea. That's if you don't mind China?
Ruth Condomine: Not at all.
Madame Arcati: I never touch Indian. It upsets my vibrations.
Charles Condomine: A good morning. A tremendously good morning! There isn't a cloud in the sky and everything looks newly washed.
Charles Condomine: Promise you'll do what I ask.
Elvira Condomine: Well, that depends on what it is.
Ruth Condomine: Edith, you know the cocktail shaker?
Edith: Yes 'em.
Ruth Condomine: Well, I want you to fill two of those long stem glasses from it and bring them up here.
Edith: Yes 'em.
Ruth Condomine: And Edith, as you're not in the Navy, its unnecessary to do everything on the double.
Edith: Very good, ma'am.
Ruth Condomine: And Edith, when you're serving dinner, try to remember to do it calmly, methodically.
Edith: Yes 'em.
Ruth Condomine: Now, go and get the cocktails.
Ruth Condomine: For heaven's sake, stop looking like a wounded spaniel and concentrate. This is serious.
Madame Arcati: Some mediums prefer Indians, of course. But, personally I've always found them unreliable.
Ruth Condomine: In what way, unreliable?
Madame Arcati: Well, to start with, they're frightfully lazy. Also, when faced with any sort of difficulty, they're apt to go off into their own tribal language - which is naturally unintelligible. That generally spoils everything and wastes a good deal of time.
Charles Condomine: It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
Madame Arcati: We might contact a poltergeist - which would be extremely destructive and noisy.
Ruth Condomine: In what way destructive?
Madame Arcati: They throw things, you know.
Ruth Condomine: No. I didn't know.
Charles Condomine: Its extraordinary about daylight, isn't it?
Ruth Condomine: How do you mean?
Charles Condomine: Oh, it introduces everything to normal.
Charles Condomine: Was I ever unkind to you when you were alive?
Elvira Condomine: Often.
Charles Condomine: Oh, how can you? I'm sure you're exaggerating.
Elvira Condomine: Not at all. You were an absolute pig that time we went to Cornwall and stayed in that awful hotel. You hit me with a billiard cue.
Charles Condomine: Only very, very gently.
Elvira Condomine: I loved you very much.
Charles Condomine: I loved you too.
Ruth Condomine: Now look here, Charles, this display of roguish flippancy might have been alluring. In a middle-aged novelist it's nauseating.
Charles Condomine: I don't see what I've done that's so awful?
Ruth Condomine: You behaved abominably last night. You wounded me and insulted me.
Charles Condomine: I was a victim of an aberration.
Ruth Condomine: Nonsense. You were drunk.
Elvira Condomine: Oh, I want to cry. But, I don't think I'm able to.
Charles Condomine: Well, what would you want to cry for?
Elvira Condomine: Well, at seeing you again and you being so irascible like you always used to be.
Charles Condomine: Well, I don't mean to be irascible, Elvira.
Elvira Condomine: Darling, I don't mind. Really. I never did.
