Bachelor Party (1984)

Mrs. Thompson: A strange wang right in my palm.

Mrs. Thompson: Is that the foot-long?
Nick: And then some.

Mrs. Thompson: I had a wiener right in my hand.

Rick Gassko: Well Mr. Thompson, that's quite a list. And I think, if I really apply myself, I could be a totally changed person by the time we finish lunch.

Gary: Are you the pimp?
Rajah: Yes.
Gary: You look like Gandhi.
Rajah: I've got girls to sit on your face.

Rick Gassko: It's time for spice, and the lucky spice is... paprika!"Oh thank you, thank you! You've made me the happiest spice in the world!"

Cole Whittier: The car has low mileage and handles like a dream.
Rick Gassko: Well, so does Debbie.

Mr. Thompson: Rick, let's cut through the B.S.
Rick Gassko: I'd like that.
Mr. Thompson: I think you're an asshole.

Brad: Guys, guys guys.
Suitcase Man: For the last time I'm telling you to get off! OFF.
Brad: Guys.
Dr. Stan Gassko: Holy shit.
Rick Gassko: Diagnoses?
Dr. Stan Gassko: Medically speaking?
Rick Gassko: Yes.
Dr. Stan Gassko: Whacked out of his brains on drugs.

Debbie Thompson: Rick, you promise you won't fool around at your bachelor party?
Rick Gassko: I swear on my mother's grave.
Debbie Thompson: Your mother's still alive.
Rick Gassko: Well if I go back on my word, I'll kill her.

Jay: Gentlemen... start your boners.

Rick Gassko: I hope you like potato salad... it's chunky style... my favorite.

She/Tim: By the way, my name is Tim and I'm always available. I also do engine work on BMW's.

Rick Gassko: Uh oh. It's Mr. Laughs.