Mike: Feelings are like kids. You don't want them driving the car, but you don't want to stuff them in the trunk, either.
Mike: Is all of Manhattan just one big fing catwalk?
Mike: It's like trying to quit crack while the pipe is attached to your body.
Neil: Wow! You, like, literally transplanted a baby's butt on my face.
Adam: I hate everyone except for you.
Mike: It's easy to be skinny on a desert island.
Neil: Hi mom, I'm a little busy right now.
Roberta: That's funny, because I wasn't too busy to give birth to you 28 years ago.
