Best comedy TV quotes of 2011

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Movie Quote Quiz
Last Man Standing picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Mandy: Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike: You can pick him up.
Mandy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy starts to leave.]
Mike: So sad.
Mandy: I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike: I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.

Bowling255

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Workaholics picture

Adam Demamp: I'm like one of those dragons from Avatar.

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Friday Night Dinner picture

The Sofa-Bed - S1-E1

Jackie: And Martin! How many times do I have to tell you? Stop eating out of the bin!
Johnny: Classic.
Adam: Classic.

Ssiscool

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Power Rangers Samurai picture

Narrator: Centuries ago in Japan, Nighlok monsters invaded our world, but samurai warriors defeated them with power symbols, passed down from parent to child. Today the evil Nighlok have risen once again and plan to flood the earth. Luckily, a new generation of heroes stand in their way. They are the Power Rangers Samurai.

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New Girl picture

Nick Miller: You're a freaking gold digger, Jess.
Jess: Do you think that if I were a gold digger, I'd be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world.

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Shameless picture

Fiona Gallagher: Did the two of us finish an entire gallon of box wine the other night?

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Wilfred picture

Wilfred: All your questions will be answered, Ryan. Eventually. But the big answers are like those missing kids on the milk cartons. They don't want to be found. They'll turn up when they're ready.

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Impractical Jokers picture

Narrator: Warning, this show contains scenes of graphic stupidity among four lifelong friends who compete to embarrass each other. Viewer Discretion is advised.

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Bob's Burgers picture

Dr. Yap - S2-E6

The Prince: Hello there, my bothers. I almost didn't see you. I am...the Prince of Persuasia! There are three steps to persuading women. Step number one: Trap your princess. Physically corner her in a room and eventually, your life. Step two: Insult your princess. Insult her face, her body, her brain, her car. The lower her self-esteem, the higher your chances, bro. It's been biologically proven, by me. Step three: Brag. Not lying, but close. Make up a story about how you single-handedly murdered a wild animal. Your story is going to release a hormone, deep inside her body, called "Insatia." It makes women ovulate. For sex!

Bishop73

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The Amazing World of Gumball picture

The Man - S3-E24

[The kids are trying to get Granny Jojo out their bedroom window to have her reach the ground.]
Gumball: [grunting] How can someone so small be so heavy?
Granny Jojo: Well, I have two metal hips, one orthopedic shoe, six gold teeth, a plate in my head, and an industrial strength pacemaker. I got so much metal in me, I'm legally classified as a motor vehicle.

bobthedancingdonut

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Episodes picture

Sanford Shamiro: You called up your stalker?
Matt LeBlanc: Right.
Sanford Shamiro: The one we got the restraining order for.
Matt LeBlanc: Yeah.
Sanford Shamiro: Did you have sexual relations with her?
Matt LeBlanc: Mm, does anal...?
Sanford Shamiro: Yeah, it counts.

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