Captain Thaddeus Harris: Not exactly a four star hotel, is it?
Lieutenant Talinsky: Well, we spend our police budget on fighting criminals, not on pampering out of town visitors.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: It was your government that brought us here.
Lieutenant Talinsky: They also bring in monkeys for zoo, but we don't put them in four star hotel either.
Carl: You know Ray, since your kid's moved in, the food's gotten better.
Lt. Jake Stone: Don't ever throw a cat on me again.
Pauline Parker: I felt thoroughly depressed and even quite seriously considered committing suicide. Life seemed so much not worth the living and death such an easy way out.
Honorah Parker Rieper: Love, you can still write to each other.
Pauline Parker: Anger against Mother boiled up inside me, as it is she who is one of the main obstacles in my path. Suddenly a means of ridding myself of this obstacle occurred to me. If she were to die.
Birdie: Hey, can I borrow your mother? My Aunt is coming for dinner and she's always getting on my nerves.
Jack Hammond: That's the question on the minds of all your viewers? Whether I run out of gas or not? Tell you what, Jer. You let your viewers know that I hope Miss Voss' fear and my desperation are entertainment enough for them. After all, that is what this is all about, isn't it? The story. As it breaks. Live. Coming to you from the bad guy himself. I mean we wouldn't want your viewers to change the fucking channel, now, would we?