C.J.: I didn't get where I am today by thinking.
Squiggy: I woulda worn my tuxedo but my polo pony ate it.
Major Greg 'Pappy' Boyington: The only way we're gonna win this war is if Tokyo is more fouled up than Washington.
Claudius: A man should keep faith with his friends, even when they're dead.
Waldorf: Just when you think this show is terrible something wonderful happens.
Statler: What?
Waldorf: It ends.