Sergeant Nash: Excuse me? Could you give me the number at the sorority house? Please?
Barb: Yeah, sure. It's, ah... Fellatio 20880. Fellatio. It's a new exchange, FE.
Sergeant Nash: That's a new one on me. How do you spell it?
Barb: Capital F, E, little L, L-A, T-I-O.
Sergeant Nash: Thanks.
Barb: Don't mention it.
Gator: Hey Taffy, baby, come suck your daddy's dick.
Taffy: I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls.
Swan: Here's the contract. Everything I've said and more is in it.
The Phantom: I'll read it.
Swan: At your leisure.
The Phantom: "The party of the first part gives the party of the second part and his associates full power to do with him at their pleasure. To rule, to send, to fetch, or carry him or his, be it either body, soul, flesh, blood or goods." What does that mean?
Swan: That's a transportation clause.
Dr. Ernest D. Hubbs: You did your major work applying game theory to the language of killer whales.
James R. Lesko: Well, it seemed cheaper than applying it to roulette.
Dr. Ernest D. Hubbs: Did you actually succeed in making positive contact with the whales?
James R. Lesko: Only with the emotionally disturbed.
Dr. Ernest D. Hubbs: How were you able to determine that?
James R. Lesko: We talked.
Ma Cobb: Remember what I've always told you: The wages of sin is gonorrhea, syphilis, and death.
Ruth: Harvey, I have a headache, a toothache, a backache and I'm expecting the gout.
Harvey Beckman: Would an aspirin help?