Big Daddy: The pit! Bring me my pendulum, kiddies, I feel like swinging.
Rex Black: Where did he get it?
Stella Black: I lost it.
Rex Black: Where?
Stella Black: In his bed.
Simon Orne: Joseph, have you not gorged yourself enough on revenge?
Charles Dexter Ward: You do not know the extent of my appetite, Simon. I'll not have my fill of revenge until this village is a graveyard. Until they have felt, as I did, the kiss of fire on their soft bare flesh. All of them. Have patience my friends. Surely, after all these years, I'm entitled to a few small amusements.
Albert Poop-Decker: If you've got a heart of oak, it's got a worm in it.
Count Bertil Jacobsson: Can you smile, Mr. Craig?
Andrew Craig: Yes, if you say something funny.
Dr. Craven: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, / Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. / While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, / As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door./ "'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door. / Only this and nothing more."
Terry 'Pintpot' Tankard: Are you the boss or something?
Ted Watson: I'm what they call the something manager. My advice to you is to be off.
Terry 'Pintpot' Tankard: You mean buzz off?
Ted Watson: No, but you're getting warm.
Merlin: There! You see? I'm an ugly, horrible, grouchy old man.
Jenny Bowman: You think you can make me sing? Do you think you can - do you think George can make me sing? or Ida? You can get me there, sure, but can you make me sing? I sing for myself. I sing when I want to, whenever I want to, just for me. I sing for my own pleasure. Whenever I want - do you under stand that?
Guido: My Dears... Happiness consists of being able to tell the truth without hurting anyone.
Angie: Do you call everybody Charlie?
Steve: Only the people I dig.
Homer Smith: I'm gonna' build me a chapel.
Professor Julius Kelp: Well, just don't do something, sit there.