Prof. Wutheridge: For some time now, every time I pass the cemetery, I feel as though I'm apartment hunting.
Lucy Muir: I wish you wouldn't swear. It's so ugly.
Captain Gregg: If you think that's ugly, it's a good thing you can't read me thoughts.
Ronnie Jackson: Everything you touch turns to rigormortis.
Phil Green: What makes you say that?
Bert McAnny: Oh, I don't know. You just seem like... a clever sort of guy.
Phil Green: What makes you think I wasn't a G.I.?
Bert McAnny: What? Now, Green, don't get me wrong. Why, some of my best friends are Jews.
Anne Dettrey: And some of your other best friends are Methodists, but you never bother to say that.
Judge Lord Thomas Horfield: I do not like to be interrupted in the middle of an insult.
Doris: Would you please tell her that you're not really Santa Claus, that actually is no such person?
Kris Kringle: Well, I hate to disagree with you, but not only is there such a person, but here I am to prove it.
