Maxim de Winter: Please promise me never to wear black satin or pearls... or to be 36 years old.
Michael Shayne: Hey, Steve, that brooch is as phony as a mother-in-law's kiss.
Alfred Kralik: There might be a lot we don't know about each other. You know, people seldom go to the trouble of scratching the surface of things to find the inner truth.
Klara Novak (Miss Novak): Well I really wouldn't care to scratch your surface, Mr. Kralik, because I know exactly what I'd find. Instead of a heart, a hand-bag. Instead of a soul, a suitcase. And instead of an intellect, a cigarette lighter... which doesn't work.
Mr. Taggart: We've no guarantee that these theories of yours are workable.
Thomas A. Edison: Well, most electricity is theory yet.
Mr. Taggart: That's the trouble. Beyond a point what good is electricity anyway?
Thomas A. Edison: What good is a newborn baby?
S. Quentin Quale: There's only one law in the west: the law of blood and bullets. It's either shoot or be shot. What are we gonna do?
Joseph Panello: Sue 'em.
Steve Banning: Those jackals are giving me goose pimples.
Babe Jenson: Aw they're giving me goose pimples on top of my goose pimples.
Danny O'Neill: It seems to me I smell a mouse.
Ellen Miller: Somewhere around the house.
Elmer Fudd: Doggone you, old, mean wabbit.
Harriet Vane: May I ask what is your motive for liquidating this little animal?
George Kittredge: I'm going to build you an ivory tower with my own two hands.
Tracy Lord: Like fun you are.
Prof. Viktor Roth: May we not believe as we choose and allow others to do the same?
Hildy Johnson: Walter, you're wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.
Frank James: I can't talk without thinking, not being a lawyer.
Tom Joad: Seems like the government's got more interest in a dead man than a live one.
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe: We've an old proverb in England that says, "Those who sail without oars stay on good terms with the wind."
Knute, Age 7: Poppa, don't talk Norwegian, talk American. We're all Americans now, especially me. I'm left end.
James Lee Wong: Greetings. Only the eyebrows of youth would have the temerity to call the beard of age at such an hour.
Don Diego Vega: I must please ask you to change the subject. His Excellency objects to talk of throat-cutting.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: Quiet, you Popinjay! I have no reason to letting you live either.
Don Diego Vega: What a pleasant coincidence. I feel exactly the same way about you Capitan.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: You wouldn't care to translate that feeling into action would you?
Don Diego Vega: I might be tempted. If I had a weapon.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: Would you.
Oliver Hardy: Where's the basement?
Desk Clerk: Downstairs.