Maxim de Winter: Please promise me never to wear black satin or pearls... or to be 36 years old.
Oliver Hardy: Where's the basement?
Desk Clerk: Downstairs.
Pete: You know, I used to have a little cat once. And when it was left all alone, it'd cry... meeeeeeeeeoooooooowwwwwww.
Knute, Age 7: Poppa, don't talk Norwegian, talk American. We're all Americans now, especially me. I'm left end.
Don Diego Vega: I must please ask you to change the subject. His Excellency objects to talk of throat-cutting.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: Quiet, you Popinjay! I have no reason to letting you live either.
Don Diego Vega: What a pleasant coincidence. I feel exactly the same way about you Capitan.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: You wouldn't care to translate that feeling into action would you?
Don Diego Vega: I might be tempted. If I had a weapon.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: Would you.
Ellen Wagstaff Arden aka Eve: Oh, by the way, how was my funeral?
Ma: Lovely. Doctor Blake preached a wonderful service.
Ellen Wagstaff Arden aka Eve: Oh, I wish I had been there.
Schultz: Strange, and I always thought of you as an Aryan.
A Jewish barber: I'm a vegetarian.
Steve Banning: What happened, Babe?
Babe Jenson: I was practicing my rock trick.
Steve Banning: Maybe next time you should practice on a pebble.
Mr. Powers: Foreign correspondent! I could get more news out of Europe looking in a crystal ball.
Dinah Lord: Oh, it won't rain. Tracy won't stand for it.
Michael Shayne: Hey, Steve, that brooch is as phony as a mother-in-law's kiss.
Walter Burns: There's been a lamp burning in the window for ya, honey... here.
Hildy Johnson: Oh, I jumped out that window a long time ago.
Alfred Kralik: There might be a lot we don't know about each other. You know, people seldom go to the trouble of scratching the surface of things to find the inner truth.
Klara Novak (Miss Novak): Well I really wouldn't care to scratch your surface, Mr. Kralik, because I know exactly what I'd find. Instead of a heart, a hand-bag. Instead of a soul, a suitcase. And instead of an intellect, a cigarette lighter... which doesn't work.
Ma Joad: Well, Pa, a woman can change better'n a man. A man lives sorta - well, in jerks. Baby's born or somebody dies, and that's a jerk. He gets a farm or loses it, and that's a jerk. With a woman, it's all in one flow, like a stream - little eddies and waterfalls - but the river, it goes right on. Woman looks at it thata way.
Mr. Taggart: We've no guarantee that these theories of yours are workable.
Thomas A. Edison: Well, most electricity is theory yet.
Mr. Taggart: That's the trouble. Beyond a point what good is electricity anyway?
Thomas A. Edison: What good is a newborn baby?
Frank James: I can't talk without thinking, not being a lawyer.
Danny O'Neill: It seems to me I smell a mouse.
Ellen Miller: Somewhere around the house.
Joseph Panello: My father-a shot the Indians in eighteen forty-two.
S. Quentin Quale: Oh, he should-a shot the stork-a, when the stork-a brought-a you.
Elmer Fudd: Doggone you, old, mean wabbit.
Prof. Viktor Roth: I've never prized safety, Erich, either for myself or my children. I prized courage.