Phaneron

Collect Call for Dick - S4-E4

The Columbian: I hear you're looking to, uh, liquidate.
Dick: Uh huh.
The Columbian: That's good, 'cause I'm looking to acquire.
Sally: Listen here lady, we're not giving these away. We're looking for top dollar.
The Columbian: Oh, I got top dollar. I got better than top dollar.
Dick: Well then by default, wouldn't that become top dollar?

Phaneron ★

Dick and Harry Fall Down a Hole - S5-E18

Dick: You're just sitting there happy as an idiot in Idiot Land on "Idiots Get In Free Day!"
Harry: OK, there's no such land, and I would know.

Phaneron ★

Green-Eyed Dick - S1-E6

Jeff: It's an ancient Ukranian quilting thimble. There's some writing on the outside. I didn't have time to get it translated.
Mary: Well, you've been so busy with the book.
Dick: Oh uh, speaking of time, don't you have a meeting?
Jeff: Right. I gotta go. Bye.
Mary: I'm gonna have to find someone who can translate Ukranian.
Dick: Oh, that's not Ukranian, it's Turkish. Look, there's a diacritical mark over the "O." [Reads in Turkish.]
Mary: Well, what does it mean?
Dick: "May these always point me toward the spoils of war." This isn't a thimble, it's Turkish nipple armor.

Phaneron ★

And Then There Was Shawn - S5-E17

Topanga: Look, none of us is the killer. There has to be somebody else in here and there has to be another way out. Somebody has to find a way out.
Eric: Fine, I'll do it. I'm the oldest.
Jack: Actually, I'm the oldest.
Eric: Yeah, but I've lived the longest.

Phaneron ★

And Then There Was Shawn - S5-E17

Mr. Feeny: Now listen, this class will not be more interested in the romantic goings on of its students than it is with whatever the hell I'm teaching!

Phaneron ★

Cult Fiction - S4-E21

Eric: Which one of you brainwashed nuts validates parking?

Phaneron ★

Near Dick Experience - S4-E22

Dick: I am going to have a near-death experience if it kills me!

Phaneron ★

The Pink Flamingo Kid - S3-E17

Mr. Feeny: I'm frustrated to see two young men throw away a friendship.
Shawn: Yeah, well the way I see it Mr. Feeny, you don't need friends. OK, especially friends like him.
Mr. Feeny: Then who do you count on, Mr. Hunter?
Shawn: Family. Your family is always there for you. Come on, Mr. Feeny, a guy like you with no friends, you gotta know I'm right.

Phaneron ★

Life Lessons - S3-E18

Topanga: Cory, do not even try to call me for the next two weeks. I will be incommunicado.
Shawn: Wow, that's guts. We're studying and she's off to Mexico.

Phaneron ★

New Friends and Old - S3-E13

Shawn: Cory, are you alone?
Cory: No, I tried to get away on my bike, but Frankie jogged behind me the entire way. I mean, pound for pound, he's the fastest man on Earth.

Phaneron ★

Homer the Smithers - S7-E17

Smithers: I've got to find a replacement who won't outshine me. Perhaps if I search the employee evaluations for the word "incompetent." 714 names! Ha, better be more specific. "Lazy, clumsy, dimwitted, monstrously ugly." [The computer again displays 714 matches.] Ah, nuts to this. I'll just go get Homer Simpson.

Phaneron ★

Zemo: An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again, but one which crumbles from within, that's dead forever.

Phaneron ★

Hometown Hero - S3-E5

Connie: I'm going to get right to the point here. Has being a hero changed Cory?
Eric: Well you know, Connie, I've also got some birthday wishes. Gorgeous Edna Stein is 100 years young today. Happy birthday, Edna.
Alan: Eric, go to your room.
Eric: Uh, Dad, this is live TV.
Alan: I don't care.

Phaneron ★

Truth and Consequences - S3-E7

Mr. Williams: The assignment was to find me a news story. Now how is Jell-O news?
Shawn: When it's used for evil.

Phaneron ★

This Little Piggy - S3-E6

Eric: Alright, look Mr. Feeny, I have a question that I'm going to need a yes or no answer to. How many people get into Yale every year?
Mr. Feeny: No.

Phaneron ★

Dick vs. Strudwick - S4-E21

Don: Hey Dick, the movie starts in 20 minutes.
Dick: Don, I can't come. I'm in the middle of writing a groundbreaking book that'll bring the physics world to its knees.
Don: Oh. What's it called?
Dick: "Payback's A Bitch, Strudwick."

Phaneron ★

Post Nasal Dick - S1-E2

Dick: [Reading from "A Brief History of Time"] "The force-carrying particles exchange between matter particles are said to be virtual particles, because unlike real particles, they cannot be directly detected by a particle detector." The people on this planet will swallow anything [laughs].

Phaneron ★

Lisa the Simpson - S9-E17

Announcer: We now return to "When Buildings Collapse" on "Non-Stop Fox."
[Bart and Homer cheer.]
Bart: Hey Lis', wanna join us?
Homer: Room for one more.
Bart: We're watching the TV.
Narrator: Man has always loved his buildings. But what happens when the buildings say "No more!"?

Phaneron ★

Lisa on Ice - S6-E8

Jimbo: Nice PJ's, Simpson. Did your mommy buy 'em for ya?
Bart: Of course she did. Who else would have?
Jimbo: Alright, Simpson, you win this round!

Phaneron ★

Grade School Confidential - S8-E19

Bart: You are never gonna guess what I saw at Martin's party after you guys left. You know that playhouse? Well, I...
Principal Skinner: Good gravy!
Cafeteria worker: Oh, thank you. It's just brown and water.

Phaneron ★