25th Oct 2018
Tree House of Horror IV: The Simpson's Halloween Special IV - S5-E5
Demon: So, you like donuts, eh?
Homer: Uh huh.
Demon: Well, have all the donuts in the world. [Laughs maniacally.]
[Homer proceeds to eat all the donuts in the world with little effort.]
Demon: I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in fifteen minutes.
25th Oct 2018
[Marge is trying to purchase a sports cup for Bart.]
Marge: He's going to need, uh, protection.
Clerk: Sure, one helmet coming up.
Marge: I was thinking more like protection for, down there.
Clerk: Oh, why didn't you say so? Knee pads, you got it.
Marge: [Laughs nervously] I'm talking about his personal area.
Clerk: Aha, say no more. I read you loud and clear. The old shoulder pads.
Marge: Look, I want a cup.
Clerk: Cup? Could you spell that?
Marge: C-U-P. I wanna C-U... oh my god!
25th Oct 2018
Principal Skinner: Mother's gone too far. She's put a cardboard box over her half of the television. We rented "Man Without a Face." I didn't even know he had a problem.
25th Oct 2018
Tree House of Horror XI - S12-E1
Homer: Did you see that? I did the deed. Open up.
St. Peter: Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking.
Homer: Hey, I thought you guys could see everything.
St. Peter: No, you're thinking of Santa Claus.
Homer: Well I'll be damned.
St. Peter: I'm afraid so, yes. [Drops Homer into Hell.]
25th Oct 2018
The Springfield Files - S8-E10
Kent Brockman: Tonight on eyewitness news: a man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
Coma patient: Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?
Kent Brockman: No, she won an Oscar and he's a congressman.
Coma patient: Good night! [Flatlines].
25th Oct 2018
Mayor Quimby: Welcome fans of America's favorite pastime: baseball?
21st Oct 2018
11th Oct 2018
The Old Man and the Lisa - S8-E21
[Mr. Burns is grocery shopping for the first time and sees Krusty getting a box of Krusty O's]
Mr. Burns: Could you tell me where I might find the Burns O's?
Krusty: Sorry Pops, they don't put nobodies on cereal boxes.
Mr. Burns: [Looking at a box of Count Chocula] Well, I suppose this one looks a bit like me.
11th Oct 2018
11th Oct 2018
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious - S8-E13
Young Rainier Wolfcastle: [singing a commercial jingle] Mein bratwurst has a first name. It's F-R-I-T-Z. Mein bratwurst has a second name. It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N.
11th Oct 2018
Treehouse Of Horror XVI - S17-E4
Mayor Quimby: And now the finalists for Best Costume. First, we have Blacula.
Dr. Hibbert: Oh, because I'm black and I'm Dracula, that makes me Blacula?
11th Oct 2018
11th Oct 2018
[Bart is in class discreetly listening to an incarcerated Sideshow Bob on a talk radio show.]
Birch Barlow: I am going to make it my mission to see that our friend Bob is set free.
Bart: No!
Ms. Krabappel: Well, despite Bart's objections, the people of South Africa can now vote in free democratic elections.
11th Oct 2018
Juggernaut: I'm gonna melt you down and make a cock ring.
5th Sep 2018
[Bart, Milhouse and Nelson have just finished watching the film "Naked Lunch."]
Nelson: I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
5th Sep 2018
Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song - S5-E19
Principal Skinner: I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, and then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through? [The scene jumps forward in time.] It was on the best-seller list for 18 months. Every magazine cover had it... [The scene jumps forward in time again.]...one of the most popular movies of all time, sir. What were you thinking? I mean thank you, come again.
16th Aug 2018
Lionel Hutz: This is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film "The Neverending Story."
11th Aug 2018
Skinner's Sense of Snow - S12-E8
Nelson: Hey, look how much Skinner makes: $25,000 a year.
Bart: Let's see, he's 40 years old times 25 grand. Whoa, he's a millionaire.
Skinner: I wasn't a principal when I was one.
Nelson: Plus, in the summer, he paints houses.
Milhouse: He's a billionaire.
Skinner: If I were a billionaire, why would I be living with my mother? [All the kids laugh at him.] They're just not responding to logic anymore.
11th Aug 2018
Treehouse of Horror XIX - S20-E4
Nelson: Touch me and I'll cut your friend.
The Grand Pumpkin: What do I care? That's a yellow pumpkin.
Nelson: [Gasps] You're a racist.
The Grand Pumpkin: All pumpkins are racist. The difference is I admit it.
9th Aug 2018
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