Quotes from Phil Vischer movies and TV shows

Jonah: Something touched me.

Mr. Nezzer: Are you guys still doing that "pirate" thing?
Mr. Lunt: Argh! Watch your tongue, matey! Or we'll... what'll we do?
Larry: Nothing. We're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.
Mr. Lunt: Oh. Argh! You got off easy today.

Pirate Pa: Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here.

Jonah: I'm afraid the only thing left is to be thrown into the sea.
Larry: Oh, you don't have to do that! We've got a plank! You can just walk off.
Jonah: Yes, thank you. You're too kind.

Jonah: I am not going to Ninevah.

Bob the Tomato: Then the asparagus hit me in the head with a guitar.

Pa Grape: What you need is a little compassion.
Larry: And maybe some scampi.

Pirate Pa: Normally you'd be entitled to a refund, but under the circumstances, y'know, with you dying and all.
Jonah: No, I don't suppose a refund would do me much good now, would it?

Junior: What did he learn?
Pa Grape: The question is, "What did you learn?"

Pirate Pa: And besides, we've never sailed before. Ever. So the answer is no.
Jonah: Money is no object.

Jonah: We're going to be digested! Do you know what that means?
Khalil: Of course! Digestion runs very deep in my family.