Bernie: I wanna talk to you, man. All that stuff that I was sayin' to you about her potentially being Alison? I didn't mean it, man. I'm seeing a difference in you. I feel like it's because of her. I'm kind of like, jealous, a little bit? I'm really happy for you, Danny.
Danny: Really?
Bernie: Fuck no! This is stupid.
Bernie: Yo, you are sick. You're gone, Joan. If you didn't have a pussy, there would be a bounty out on your head.
Joan: You are a psychopathic social misfit who's in the middle of a deep homosexual panic.
Bernie: Oh, if I'm gay, it's only because after fucking you for three months, that seemed like the next logical step to take! I would rather chase another man's ass than fuck you again, Joan.
Darnell Lewis: We do this, we do this hard!
James King: I can get hard.
Darnell Lewis: This ain't no longer your house, man! We in San Quentin now.
Darnell Lewis: When life throws you Dick you make Dick-ade!
James King: Dick-ade doesn't sound like a significant improvement over dick.
James Payton: You want to marry my sister? Show me you're worthy of her. And prove to me you got what it takes.
Ben Barber: How do you want me to do that? I don't get it.
James Payton: Tomorrow, I'm going to take you on a ride-along. You can show me what kind of man you're made of. And prove to me that you deserve somebody as special as Angela.
Ben Barber: Hell yeah.
James Payton: Got a little kick to it.
Ben Barber: Oh, shit! My stomach in my ass.
James Payton: Oh, yeah, you're ready for the streets.
Ben Barber: This gun should be banned.
James Payton: Aw, damn, it's Sir Scream-a-Lot.
Ben Barber: I was responding to a hostile situation, James. I have no shame in that. You call for backup when there's a hostile situation.
James Payton: That wasn't calling for backup. That was a high-pitched scream, and you pushed my sister in the way.
Ben Barber: I pushed your sister out of harm's way. You shined the light at us, James.
Snowball: Welcome my dogs! Oh, you guys look weird. Hurry up, come on in.
Buddy: You said it was a costume party.
Mel: Why do you listen to me?
Snowball: I feel heroic! And handsome! I'm a little wet, but I still look good.
Snowball: Death is coming to Brooklyn. And it's got buck teeth and a cotton tail.
Snowball: The revolution has begun! Liberated forever! Domesticated never.
Snowball: Who are we? Who are we? We are the Flushed Pets. Thrown away by our owners and now we are out for revenge! It's like a club, but with biting and scratching.
Snowball: I feel heroic! And handsome! I'm a little wet, but I still look good. I look good.
