Swat Cop: Anything else that'll keep this elevator from falling?
Jack: Yeah. The basement.
Harry Temple: All right, pop quiz. Airport, gunman with one hostage. He's using her for cover; he's almost to a plane. You're a hundred feet away... Jack?
Jack: Shoot the hostage.
Jack: Harry! Tell me good news, man.
Howard Payne: Oh, I'm sorry, Jack. He didn't make it.
Jack: You, FUCK!
Howard Payne: It was the watch that lead him to me, wasn't it? Huh? It seemed a little hammy to me to build a bomb out of my precious retirement gift, but, you know, I figured a sign that said "Howard Payne" would be pushing it.
Jack: I'm gonna rip your fucking spine out, I swear to God.
Howard Payne: This day has been real disappointing, I don't mind saying.
Jack: Why, because you didn't get to kill everyone?
Howard Payne: There will come a time, boy, when you will wish you never met me.
Jack: Mister, I'm already there.
Jack: Tell me again Harry, why did I take this job?
Harry Temple: Oh come on, thirty more years of this, you get a tiny pension and a cheap gold watch.
Jack: Cool.
Howard Payne: I'm the guy with the plan 'cause I'm smarter. I'm smarter than you.
[Howard gets decapitated by a light in the subway tunnel.]
Jack: Yeah? Well I'm taller.
Nelson Moss: Why a month?
Sara: Because it's long enough to be meaningful, but short enough to stay out of trouble.
Nelson Moss: Have you ever heard of Phalaenopsis Sunderiana? It reminded me of you.
Sara: You got the job, didn't you?
Nelson Moss: Best offer anyone ever made me.
Sara: So when do you start?
Nelson Moss: We had a little problem agreeing on that. He suggested immediately, I suggested... never.
Sara: Never?
Nelson Moss: Never.
Nelson Moss: Try to be wrong once in a while. I'd do my ego good.
Sara: You live in a box. I could lift the lid, let some light in.
Nelson Moss: Wow, that's deep! I feel almost cured just hearing it.
Nelson Moss: What are you doing?
Sara: Taking your shirt off.
Nelson Moss: Why?
Sara: Because you smell like puppy pee.
Nelson Moss: Oh my god, you're Chaz Watley.
Brandon: Oh look, baby's famous.
Chaz: Don't even go there.
Duke Caboom: Do you really have laser eyes?
Bunny: Uh... yeah.
Duke Caboom: Woah.
