Quotes from Jon Cryer movies and TV shows

Andrew Morenski: Do you ever ask yourself "How did I get here?"
Patrick Morenski: Yeah, I used to, but now I just ask myself "How do I get out?"

Andrew Morenski: I used to be just like you: a short, horny, hopeless dork.
Patrick Morenski: And now look at you.
Andrew Morenski: Well, I'm not short.

Duckie: May I admire you again today?

Duckie: This is a really volcanic ensemble you're wearing, it's really marvelous.

Duckie: We don't have none of this stuff in the boy's room! Wait a minute! We don't got none of this... we don't got doors on the stalls in the boy's room, we don't have, what is this? What's this? We don't have a candy machine in the boy's room.

Duckie: What now?
Andie: Bed.
Duckie: Yours or mine? Ours?

Duckie: I'm off like a dirty shirt.

Andie: Were you here long?
Duckie: No, no! Three, four... hours.

Andie: You know you're talking like that just because I'm going out with Blane.
Duckie: His name is Blane? Oh! That's a major appliance, that's not a name.

Duckie: You know what an older women does for me?
Iona: Changes your diapers?
Duckie: Touché.

Andie: What are you doing?
Duckie: I had to use the powder room, so I figured I'd come in the back.
Andie: I'm sure there are bathrooms all over the place.
Duckie: I'm not nine, Andie, I know that.

Andie: May I admire you?
Duckie: If you wish.

Duckie: Well, that's very nice. I'm glad. Well here's... here's the point, Andie. I'm not particularly concerned with whether or not you like me, because I live to like you and... and I can't like you anymore. So... so when you're feeling real low and... and dirty, and your heart is splattered all over hell, don't look to me to pump you back up 'cause... 'cause... 'cause maybe for the first time in your life I won't be there.
Andie: I can't believe you're saying this.

Andie: So what do you want to drink?
Duckie: Oh you know, beer, scotch, juice box... whatever.

Duckie: This is an incredibly romantic moment, and you're ruining it for me.