Quotes from Joel Grey movies and TV shows

Master of Ceremonies: Outside it is windy, but inside it is so hot, every night we have ze battle to keep the girls from taking off all their clothing. So don't go away, who knows? Tonight we may lose the battle.

Master of Ceremonies: Leave your troubles outside! Life is disappointing? Forget it.

Chiun: In Korea, door handles do not break.

Chiun: I do not wear glasses so that I may see. I wear glasses so that I may see... more.

Chiun: You move like a pregnant yak. Sit.

Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, you're a real pain in the ass.
Chiun: That is because it is the shortest route to your brain.

Chiun: Karate, Kung Fu, Ninjitsu - they are but shadows. Sinanju is the Sun.

Chiun: The trained mind does not need a watch. Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.

Chiun: Professional assassination... is the highest form of public service.

Remo Williams: Are you hurt?
Chiun: No. When you approach middle age, there is a tendency toward bruising, my son.
Remo Williams: What? What did you call me?
Chiun: I called you a clumsy oaf! You drive like a monkey in heat.

Chiun: You did not ask to be white. So perhaps that is not your fault. You did not ask to be here. Perhaps that is not your fault, either.