Maddie Hayes: I didn't even know you had a brother.
David Addison: Never thought of him as a brother - just mom and dad's science project.
Maddie Hayes: I had no idea.
David Addison: That's okay. I got lots of 'em. I'll loan you one.
Maddie Hayes: You are eye crust.
David Addison: The better to see you with, my dear.
Maddie Hayes: You are navel lint.
David Addison: Expensive navel lint.
Maddie Hayes: You are.
David Addison: Don't go much lower, they'll take us off the air.
Maddie Hayes: Unhand me.
David Addison: I'll try, but I don't think they'll come off.
Maddie Hayes: Since when did my personal life outside the office become fair game for your amusement inside the office?
David Addison: If I remember correctly, since you started working here.
Maddie Hayes: Brian Baker called me names. Preston Holt lied to me. Omar Gaus mocked me. I don't think I like men anymore.
David Addison: We still like you.
David Addison: I know who he is, he paints naked girls.
Maddie Hayes: Nudes.
David Addison: Nudes, right. Nakeds have staples in them.
Maddie Hayes: That man belongs in a pound.
Agnes DiPesto: Pound of what?
Maddie Hayes: Good husband, are we married merrily?
David Addison: Yea, verily, we are married merrily... though at first warily, and unfortunately quite sterilely.
Mortician: This is him, Edward O'Leary. Recognize him?
Maddie Hayes: I don't know, we never knew him.
Mortician: Then what did you want to look at the body for?
Maddie Hayes: What did we want to look at the body for?
David Addison: We're private detectives. It's what we do.
Mortician: You wanna look at any others while you're here?
Maddie Hayes: No thanks. Our limit is one stiff per day.
