Corrected entry: While Dick's talking about the time he played for Queens Park Rangers, he says that Trevor Francis was the manager that signed him, and then adds that in his first match, Les Ferdinand punched him for scoring an own goal. Ferdinand never played for QPR while Trevor Francis was manager, however - it was the next manager, Don Howe, who gave him his debut for the club.
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Correction: Dick was probably just making the whole thing up. It seems unlikely that any football manager would sign a player who doesn't even know which end of the pitch they're meant to be playing towards, to say nothing of actually selecting such a player for a match.