No Strings Attached (2011)

Alvin: She's just so hot.
Adam: I know how hot she is.
Vanessa: That's really sweet, thanks guys!
Adam: Fuck you!

Shira: God, I am single as fuck.

Adam: You can't just suddenly call me and say you miss me!
Emma: I know...
Adam: No, do not call me to say you miss me. Do not text me, do not e-mail me... Do not write it on my wall! If you really miss me, come here and tell me that!

Shira: I just pulled a penis out of a Vitamin Water yesterday, so we are cool with penises here.

Eli: I'd have sex with a pioneer, for sure.

Alvin: How long have you two been together?
Emma: Oh, we're not.
Adam: We're sex friends.
Emma: Yes we are.
Adam: Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies.

Lucy: Fuck you, Chuck! You're very talented but fuck you!

Lucy: Chuck! If I catch you taking pictures of your dick one more time I'm taking that thing away.

Sandra Kurtzman: You know I worry about you sometimes.
Emma: Why? Is this about me not having a date?
Sandra Kurtzman: No, I know you can dance alone. I know that you'll be fine. You're always fine.
Emma: So?
Sandra Kurtzman: I don't know. When we lost your father I couldn't stand to see you in pain and I think you knew that. I think that you got good at being strong for me. I'm telling you be hurt. I can take it. The world can take it.

Eli: I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms together, but I'm not prepared to say we didn't.

Alvin: We don't get to pick who we fall in love with, and it doesn't happen like it should.

Emma: Do you wanna do this?
Adam: Do what?
Emma: Use each other for sex, at all hours of the day and night. Nothing else.
Adam: Yeah, I could do that.
Emma: Good. It's gonna be fun.

Patrice: Don't worry, we're all doctors here, so we've seen plenty of penises.

Eli: Ten years from now you're gonna be having sex with your wife. And it's gonna be in the missionary position. And one of you is going to be asleep.

Eli: You know what the best part about my gay dads is?
Adam: What?
Eli: They're never gonna eat out my ex-girlfriends.
Wallace: You and your dad are tunnel buddies, huh?

Adam: I'm warning you, if you take one step closer, I'm never letting you go.

Emma: Congrats? For what, having sex with you?
Adam: You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.

Shira: We're sluts, Emma! We're dirty dirty sluts!

Alvin: When you're married and you do blow, try to stay away from women who want to fuck you. Even ugly women. Blow is blind, Adam. Blow is blind.
Adam: You're an asshole.
Alvin: But you're not. You got a good heart, Adam. Try to keep it.