Shira: God, I am single as fuck.
Shira: I just pulled a penis out of a Vitamin Water yesterday, so we are cool with penises here.
Eli: I'd have sex with a pioneer, for sure.
Lucy: Fuck you, Chuck! You're very talented but fuck you!
Lucy: Chuck! If I catch you taking pictures of your dick one more time I'm taking that thing away.
Sandra Kurtzman: You know I worry about you sometimes.
Emma: Why? Is this about me not having a date?
Sandra Kurtzman: No, I know you can dance alone. I know that you'll be fine. You're always fine.
Sandra Kurtzman: I don't know. When we lost your father I couldn't stand to see you in pain and I think you knew that. I think that you got good at being strong for me. I'm telling you be hurt. I can take it. The world can take it.
Eli: I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms together, but I'm not prepared to say we didn't.
Alvin: We don't get to pick who we fall in love with, and it doesn't happen like it should.
Patrice: Don't worry, we're all doctors here, so we've seen plenty of penises.
Eli: Ten years from now you're gonna be having sex with your wife. And it's gonna be in the missionary position. And one of you is going to be asleep.
Eli: You know what the best part about my gay dads is?
Eli: They're never gonna eat out my ex-girlfriends.
Wallace: You and your dad are tunnel buddies, huh?
Adam: I'm warning you, if you take one step closer, I'm never letting you go.
Shira: We're sluts, Emma! We're dirty dirty sluts!