Pastor John: Well, if you want to be born again, you have to forget the past.
Trudy: I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Sam: Really? What's he like?
Trudy: He's big and strong... tan... lots of muscles... he's got lightning bolts shooting out of his eyes.
Trudy: Canejo Springs used to be a decent place... then came the drugs and... anus sex.
Sam: Four days, 17 hours, 26 minutes, 31 seconds. That is when the world will end.
Pastor John: I used to be like you.
Corey: What, you had a training bra?
Pastor John: Not exactly. When I was your age, I experienced things that made me feel like God didn't exist. Maybe you've experienced something like that too.
Sam: You don't know anything about me.
Pastor John: I can see that you're in pain.
Sam: I'm alive.
Pastor John: Is that how you see life?
Sam: Till farts taste like cherries, yeah.
Corey: What do you think God's farts taste like?
Sam: Marshmallow Peeps.
Chosen answer: Nope. It was just a reaction to the meteorite. It could have been an alien bacteria causing it, or it could have been an allergic reaction to one or more materials in the meteorite itself.
Phixius