Pipp Everett: Provost, he has knocked that woman out with his schlong!
Pipp Everett, the Earl of Grey: Roger, sometimes, the Almighty, in His infinite wisdom, likes to give a sliver of hope to the downtrodden and underprivileged to make up for their inferior haircuts and the fact they have to winter and summer in the same place.
Taj: As Mr. Van Wilder would say, "If you can't join them, beat them."
Seamus O'Toole: What did you say your name was again?
Taj Badalandabad: Taj Badalandabad, your new head of house.
Seamus O'Toole: Taj Badalandabad. That's a quite a tongue-twister.
Taj Badalandabad: It's not that hard to say. You got it right.
Seamus O'Toole: Yeah, but I've been drinking all day.
