Sam: Wow! I cannot believe you're not retarded.
Sam: What's the word that's burning in your heart?
Mark: Hey, vagina.
Andrew Largeman: Hey, what's up, guys? Uh, Sam, it's Mark, Dave, and you remember Jesse.
Jesse: Hey.
Sam: Hey.
Dave: What's up?
Mark: Hey, nice to meet you. I'm sorry I said vagina just now. I didn't know you were here.
Sam: Oh, that's okay.
Mark: Nice. Let's get fucked up.
Andrew Largeman: So how do people know what's real?
Sam: Well, I always feel bad afterwards and admit them when they're lies. Can you trust that?
Sam: So what are you here for?
Andrew Largeman: What are you here for?
Sam: Waiting for a friend, you?
Andrew Largeman: I uh.
Sam: Oh fuck, that was so nosy. I'm sorry, ack. I am. I am so nosy. I didn't I didn't mean to be. I am sorry.
Andrew Largeman: No, I just get these headaches. I wanna have em checked out.
Sam: Cool.
Sam: If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.
Sam: You're in it right now, aren't you?
Andrew Largeman: What?
Sam: My mom always says that, when she can see I'm like working something out in my head, she's like, 'you're in it right now' and I'm looking at you're telling this story, and you're definitely in it.
Obnoxious Girl: I'll have a Ketel Cosmo, with Red Bull - and some bread ASAP.
Andrew Largeman: ...We don't have bread.
Obnoxious Girl: What do you mean you don't have bread, how can you not have bread?
Andrew Largeman: ...we're a Vietnamese restaurant... we just don't have bread.
Obnoxious Girl: Well, you're not Vietnamese.
Andrew Largeman: ...No, I'm not.
Obnoxious Girl: Can I have something to chew on! Fuck, bamboo! Whatever.
Andrew Largeman: I'll see what I can find.
