Carmen: And you think the absence of the instinct to dismember someone qualifies you for priesthood?
Stuart Long: Like anything, it's the struggle that brings you closer to God. I never shied away from no fight. Teaching priests to rat on suffering men, they're getting closer to Judas than Jesus.
Carmen: Have you considered all this entails? Heh. Abstaining from booze and beatings, not to mention sex?
Stuart Long: You showed me I could do it.
Carmen: No, I showed you, you could wait.
Bill Long: I seen a couple of boxing bouts on the TV. Enough to know a man don't lose when he gets knocked down, but when he won't get up. If there's one thing I know about you, it's... you ain't afraid to get hit.
Bill Long: I seen insects grope about for death with more dignity than what you're displaying right now.
Carmen's Dad: You know, Stuart, in my country, men crawl on their hands and knees to the statue a la santisima Virgen Maria. I expect no less devotion to my daughter.
Stuart Long: Well, it's a good thing I got a carpet, huh?
Stuart Long: Hear me out. All our outer nature's wasting away. But our inner nature is being renewed every day. This life, no matter how long it lasts, is a momentary affliction preparing us for eternal glory. We shouldn't pray for an easy life, but the strength to endure a difficult one. Because the experience of suffering is the fullest expression of God's love. It is a chance to be closer to Christ.
Stuart Long: God gave you the talent. It's a sin not to use it.
Bill Long: A load of good you and me did, climbing into bed together. Made two kids, own bodies don't want 'em.