UHF

UHF (1989)

10 quotes

George Newman: You know what? Nobody in this small town appreciates a guy with a good imagination.
Bob: Well, maybe not the people at the lumber yard, or the miniature golf course, or Floyd's Fish Market, or any of the other places you worked in the last... Month.

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Bob: Well... I've got good news and bad news.
George Newman: Tell me the bad news first, get it over with.
Bob: The bad news is, at the rate things are going, my books predict that this station will be flat broke by the end of the month.
George Newman: OUCH! So, what's the good news?
Bob: I lied. There is no good news.

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Earl Ramsey: Gun control is for wimps and commies. Listen, let's get one thing straight. Guns don't kill people. I do.

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Stanley Spadowski: Friends, there comes a time in every man's life when he has to look the potato of injustice right in the eye.

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George Newman: You gotta grab life by the lips and YANK as hard as you can.

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Raul Hernandez: For those of you just joining us, today we're teaching poodles how to fly.

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Bob: I don't know about this, George. We don't know the first thing about what goes on in a television station.
George Newman: Don't worry, Bob. It's just like working in a fish-market. Except you don't have to clean and gut fish all day.

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George Newman: Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs... All next week on Town Talk.

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Crazy Ernie: If nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I'm gonna club this baby seal. That's right! I'm gonna club this seal to make a better deal. You know I'll do it, too, cause I'm crazy.

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George Newman: I need a drink.
Bob: You don't drink.
George Newman: Yeah, but I've been meaning to start.

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Mistakes

George comes up with the idea to raise money via a public share issue in Channel 62 around mid-morning, and promptly announces the telethon on the air and by midnight of the same day they have the money they need. One problem. Even if George had access to a compliant attorney and Channel 62 was already a company authorised to issue shares, a public issue would take at least ten days to organise. There are all sorts of notice periods and filing dates to which the share issuer must adhere. I know - I've done it.

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Trivia

During one of Stanley's Clubhouses, Stanley sprays whipped cream into an audience member's mouth. This is Dr. Demento, the first DJ to put Weird Al on his station.

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