Best comedy TV quotes of 2015

Black Friday - S2-E10

Cheyenne: Attention shoppers, the store is now closed. Not 'bring your items to the front' closed, I meant like get the hell out.

dewinela

Abra Cadaver - S2-E7

Liv: They identified a hair found in the sink drain of Meat Cute as belonging to missing astronaut Alan York. You killed the fourth man who walked on the moon?
Blaine: Please, nobody cares about the fourth person to do something.

Bishop73

Weird Knight - S1-E4

Stosh: I want to rep you.
Zara: I have a whistle.
Stosh: No, I want to rep you. Represent you as an artist.

Bishop73

Stephen Colbert: Do you have any awards or commendations?
Barack Obama: Well, I have almost thirty honorary degrees and I did get the Nobel Peace Prize.
Stephen Colbert: Oh, really? What was that for?
Barack Obama: To be honest, I still don't know.

Dean Cathy Munsch: This year, Kappa will be required, to accept anyone who wishes to become a pledge.

Walter Blunt: What would I do without you, Harry?
Harry Chandler: What would I do without you, Major?

Jimmy McGill: I'm the guy on your speed dial right after your weed dealer.