Bernard: Curtis, you're 900 years old. Grow up.
Mr. Jones: I look better than you.
Uncle Elroy: You don't.
Mr. Jones: I cook better than you.
Uncle Elroy: You can't.
Mr. Jones: My dick is bigger than yours.
Uncle Elroy: It was cold that night.
Daniel's 'Boss': People don't need my intervention.
Daniel: If people don't need your intervention, how did the salvation army get all the money, and Kermit and his friends get to keep the theater, and Miss Bitterman nothing but her own greed?
Daniel's 'Boss': Danny-al, I work in mysterious ways.
Marv Merchants: Well, prison isn't so bad. We do get salisbury steak on Wednesdays.