Steve Carell (back to the S list / C list)

[Arguing against women in the newsroom.]

Brick Tamland: I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.

Brian Fantana: Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast!

Brian Fantana: It jumped up a notch.

Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?

Brick Tamland: Yea, I stabbed a man in the heart.

Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?

Brick Tamland: Yea, there were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.

Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by because you're probably wanted for murder.

Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?

Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana.

Champ Kind: Champ Kind.

Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana.

Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.

Brick Tamland: Brian.

Brian Fantana: I'm Brian.

Brick Tamland: Veronica.

Brick Tamland: I don't know what we're yelling about!

Brick Tamland: I love...carpet. I love...desk.

Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?

Brick Tamland: I love lamp.

Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?

Brick Tamland: I love lamp. I love lamp.

Cal: I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one... you never give up.

Claire Foster: Honey, If I'm gonna get whacked off, I...

[Phil laughs]

Claire Foster: What are you smiling about?

Phil Foster: No, no, we might get bumped off. We're not going to get whacked off.

Claire Foster: I think we are!

Gru: We are going to pull of the TRUE crime of the century... we are going to steal the MOON!

Gru: Do you speak Spanish?

Miss Hattie: Do I look like someone who speaks Spanish?

Gru: It's just that your face is so... Como es burro.

Miss Hattie: Oh! Why, thank you!

Maxwell Smart: If I were from CONTROL, you'd already be dead.

Siegfried: If you were from CONTROL, you'd already be dead.

Maxwell Smart: Neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from CONTROL.

Shtarker: That actually makes sense.

Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking "Holy shit, holy shit! A swordfish almost went through my head"? Because if you are, then we're on the same page.

Agent 99: Are you staring at my butt?

Maxwell Smart: No, no, I...I was, but I'm not...I'm staring again.

Agent 99: Max has no experience, and I don't want him as my partner.

Maxwell Smart: Well, that is a sucker punch to the gonads.

Maxwell Smart: I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded by a highly trained team of 130 black op snipers.

Siegfried: I don't believe you.

Maxwell Smart: Would you believe 2 dozen Delta Force commandos?

Siegfried: No.

Maxwell Smart: How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun?

Michael Scott: It's simply beyond words. It's incalculacable.

Michael Scott: This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple years ago.

Michael Scott: What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It's the people. The *people*. My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No, no, no, no. It was a young Guatamalan guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went "Mr. Scott, will you be the Godfather to my child?" Wow. *Wow.* Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.

Michael Scott: I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third.

Michael Scott: This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell outta here.