Sarah Morton: Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later every asshole gets one.
Gen. 'Stonewall' Jackson: In the Army of the Shenandoah, you were the First Brigade! In the Army of the Potomac you were the First Brigade! In the Second Corps of this Army, you are the First Brigade! You are the First Brigade in the affections of your general, and I hope by your future deeds and bearing you will be handed down the posterity as the First Brigade in this our Second War of Independence. God Speed.
Woo-jin Lee: Dae-su Oh talks too much.
Theodore Banner: You're my creative team, create a reason to get rid of her or I'll create a new creative team.
Le tueur: You drive a woman crazy. You little slut.
Henry Dashwood: For me, it's just a stop on the campaign trail, and for Glynnis it's a chance to launch Clarissa on society.
Daphne Reynolds: Launch her? You make her sound like a ship.
Henry Dashwood: No, in Clarissa's case it's more like an intercontinental ballistic missile.
Julie Taylor: Why don't we just play two-on-two?
Ryder: But you're.
Julie Taylor: A girl? So I can't play? But then I am black so maybe I can. Your only problem's gonna be deciding which one of your narrow-minded stereotypes is gonna kick your lily-white ass. Afraid you'll get beaten?
Christian Markelli: By a girl and a fag?
Kathy: I miss my dad. He worked really hard for that house... It took him... thirty years to pay it off. And it took me eight months to fuck it up.
Michael Corvin: I want to stay with you.
Ada: I brought you this book... and this photo. I'm not smiling in it. I don't know how to do that... hold a smile.
Mrs. Gibbons: Brian, I think you'd better go check that barbecue.
Old Monk: Lust awakens the desire to possess. And that awakens the intent to murder.
Ben: Hanging with her for 10 days is gonna be no problem.
Tony: Right. That's only nine days longer than you've ever spent with any other chick, huh?
Tigger: Aww, I just love a hoppy ending.
Lou: So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I've taken. And I was like, you know 'Don't go there, ' you know. But he kept on about wanting to see some kind of a doctor's note or something. And I said 'Look, I'm seriously serious. You don't want to go there. He kept talking and talking and being such a nag, and I just blacked out. I blacked out. And I woke up, and I was standing over him and I was screaming "I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!"
Ellis 'Zee' Pettigrew: Those Africans are my people too. For all the years that we have been told to stand down and stand by, you doin' the right thing.
Lt. A.K. Waters: For our sins.
Ellis 'Zee' Pettigrew: Hooyah.
Lt. A.K. Waters: Hooyah.
Freddy Bender: Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness.
Judge Marva Munson: I'm going to allow it.
Otis: Huntin' humans ain't nothin' but nothin'. They all run like scared little rabbits. Run, rabbit, run. Run, rabbit. Run, rabbit. Run rabbit. Run, rabbit, run! RUN, rabbit, RUN.
Ron Launius: What the fuck am I going to do with a microwave?
John Holmes: You can heat food with it.
Ron Launius: The only thing I want to heat up right now is some dope.
Jerry Lynch: You just don't have the requisite Celtic soul, man.