Marion Harrington: I'm pregnant.
Richard Harrington: I smoke pot?.
Alfred: Could it be an old foe in a new disguise? Perhaps Catwoman?
Bruce Wayne: No. Even Selina Kyle has more regard for human life. This is someone entirely new, Alfred. The last thing Gotham City needs is some vigilante running amok.
Alfred: As they say in the streets, I ain't touching that one.
Lilly: She is not a Christian. My mama said hollering in a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a Cadillac.
Cat in the Hat: Don't worry, I have three plans. Plan A: Mess up a perfectly clean house. Done that! Plan B: Cut your losses and ditch the kids. That could work.
Sally: What about that one?
Cat in the Hat: Plan C: Trick Mom's boyfriend into handing over dog and lock. I don't know. I still like Plan B.
Galleria: If he can't respect my art, he can't have my heart.
Frederick the Wise: The Roman Inquisition does not give hearings. It gives death sentences.
Left Ear: We're in Italy. Speak English.
Juni: I never even got her e-mail address.
Emperor Meiji: I have dreamed of a unified Japan. Of a country strong and independent and modern. We have railroads and cannon, Western clothing. But we cannot forget who we are. Or where we come from.
Howie Rottman: I'd like to dip you in Cheez Wiz and spread you all over a Ritz cracker, if I'm not being too subtle.
Charlene Morton: Boy, you some kinda freaky.
Howie Rottman: Oh, you have no idea. You got me straight trippin', boo.
Louis Booker: Don't worry, Charlie. We'll get the money back, all right? He can't go far.
Charlie Carbone: It's a continent, Louis. He can go very far.
Louis Booker: I know it's a continent. I read the book.
Charlie Carbone: Did you happen to read the chapter on not putting your jacket on a wild animal?
Louis Booker: No, but I did read the chapter on how an aborigine can kill a white man with a twig. Do you want to see that one?
Dr. Josh Keyes: So what's this about then?
FBI Agent: We don't know. You have higher security clearance than us.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I have security clearance?
FBI Agent: Yes sir, we're just here to take you to your jet.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I have a jet?!
Tom Baker: You soaked his underwear in meat? That is so wrong. Funny, but wrong.
Aaron Hallam: What if there was a species above us in the food chain? How do you think you'd feel if that species lost total respect for us... and started slaughtering us wholesale?
Kate: How many Lizzies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hmmm, I don't know, but it only takes one to screw up a graduation.
Bough: Shall we call for back-up sir?
Johnny English: What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? I don't think so.
Hatcher: I suppose now we have a conversation where you enlighten me. How many more of you are out there? Enlighten me. Where are the rest of your compadres? Enlighten me.
Brian O'Conner: Nice shirt, Bilkins.
Agent Bilkins: It's my day off.
Mack: Shame what this town's come to.
Charley Waite: You could do something about it.
Mack: What? We're freighters. Ralph here's a shopkeeper.
Charley Waite: You're men, ain't you?
Mack: I didn't raise my boys just to see 'em killed.
Charley Waite: Well you may not know this, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dying.