Mr. Saturday Night (1992)

Buddy Young, Jr.: I didn't take your life, Stan. I gave you one.
Stan: Yeah, but you coulda been nicer.

Buddy Young, Jr.: For me, my family was like, uh, Dances With Jews. Oh sure, we had names for our relatives like they had in that movie.
Reporter: What do you mean?
Buddy Young, Jr.: Well, we had "Eats With His Hands," "Spits When He Talks," "Makes Noise When He Bends," "Sweats Like a Pig," "Whines In a Cab," "Never Buys Retail," "Shaves His Back."

Buddy Young, Jr.: I'll never forget what my Uncle Moe said about little girls. He said, "Officer, she said she was 18!"