How to Steal a Million (1966)

Nicole Bonnet: I can't drive a stolen car.
Simon Dermott: Same principle, four gears forward, one reverse.

Simon Dermott: Our telephones may be tapped, so I'll conduct this entire conversation in Swahili. How are you?

Charles Bonnet: My dirt.

Simon Dermott: Where precisely were you in the early part of the sixteenth century?
Nicole Bonnet: I don't know but that's not how I was dressed.

Nicole Bonnet: For a burglar you're not very brave, are you?
Simon Dermott: I'm a society burglar. I don't expect people to rush about shooting me.

Nicole Bonnet: Don't be such a baby, it's only a flesh wound.
Simon Dermott: Happens to be my flesh.

Charles Bonnet: What have I done? I've given the world a precious opportunity of studying and viewing the Cellini Venus.
Nicole Bonnet: Which is not by Cellini.
Charles Bonnet: Ahh, labels, labels. It's working with the Americans that's given you this obsession with labels and brand names. I wish you'd give up that ridiculous job.

Nicole Bonnet: Is this how you normally work, by the mile?
Simon Dermott: I'm thinking. Look at my forehead: all wrinkled.

Nicole Bonnet: Your arm is much better.
Simon Dermott: Oh no no, it hurts, it hurts.
Nicole Bonnet: It's the other arm.
Simon Dermott: The infection is spreading.

Charles Bonnet: I doubt very much if Van Gogh himself would have gone through so much trouble.
Nicole Bonnet: He didn't have to. He was Van Gogh.

Nicole Bonnet: You really are the smuggest and most hateful man.

Charles Bonnet: Don't you know that in his lifetime Van Gogh only sold one painting? While I, in loving memory of his tragic genius, have already sold two.

Simon Dermott: I want you to take a long look at the trees, the blue sky, and the river, all of which I personally loathe, which is why a juicy stretch in a French prison doesn't bother me at all.

Simon Dermott: There's the bathroom. Take off your clothes.
Nicole Bonnet: Are we planning the same sort of crime?
Simon Dermott: You're quite safe. It's dress rehearsal time. That's why we bought all this lovely junk.

Simon Dermott: I tossed a coin on the way over. You lost.

Nicole Bonnet: I feel like I'm going to faint.
Simon Dermott: Don't, there's no room.

Nicole Bonnet: I keep telling you, Papa, when you sell a fake masterpiece, that is a crime.
Charles Bonnet: But I don't sell them to poor people, only to millionaires.

Simon Dermott: Why don't you wait till you get it home and steal it then? No muss, no fuss, just a nice clean inside job? I'd be happy to offer my services.

Simon Dermott: Why must it be this particular work of art?
Nicole Bonnet: You don't think I'd steal something that didn't belong to me, do you?
Simon Dermott: Excuse me, I spoke without thinking.

Simon Dermott: It's National Crime Prevention Week. Take a burglar to dinner.