James: I wanna report a murder and a kidnapping.
Dispatcher: Did they take the body?
James: No, no, no. I have the body.
Dispatcher: Did you kill the victim?
James: No, I didn't kill him.
Dispatcher: Have you been kidnapped?
James: I'm not the one who's been kidnapped. I know this sounds really strange.
Dispatcher: I don't think we can help you, sir.
James: Well, fuck me! Isn't that what the police are supposed to do - help people?
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