Janet Hall: Daddy's gonna play with his fire hose. That didn't sound right.
Lillian MacFarquhar: It's one of the ironies of my otherwise straight forward life that I have fallen in love twice. Both times with people who insist on living in this godforsaken town.
Miss Constance Scattergoods: I do think, dear, that, whenever I get the urge to exercise, I lie down until it passes over.
Miss Constance Scattergoods: A thinning gene pool is a terrible thing to witness. Ah, civilization's crowning achievement: the cocktail hour.
Johnny: I've never felt this way before.
Helen: Of course not. You're twenty.
Janet Hall: OK, well, here are your books. Uh, the Complete Idiots Guide to Surviving Divorce, The Divorce Workbook, and of course, How Come nobody loves me?
