David Ghantt: I'm starting to feel like a corn dog at a hot dog party, and it ain't flattering, I'll tell you that.
Mike McKinney: I got another job.
David Ghantt: No kiddin', what are you doin'?
Mike McKinney: Tax preparation.
David Ghantt: Oh, are ya? That's nice.
Mike McKinney: Naw, I'm just foolin'. It's gonna be more murder.
David Ghantt: Sometimes the only way out... is through.
Steve: What should I call you, sir?
Steve: Nothing. You don't ever need to see me or know my name. You can refer to me as Geppetto.
David Ghantt: Geppetto?
Steve: Yeah, Geppetto. As in Pinnochio. As in, I pull the strings.
David Ghantt: I think he means Stromboli.
Steve: What did you call me?
David Ghantt: Nothin'. I just think you mean Stromboli. Geppetto was just a woodcarver. Stromboli was the puppeteer.
Scanlon: Katie Candy Cane, is she a stripper?
David Ghantt: You farted right into my butt hole. It's like a fart transplant.
David Ghantt: I'm right here, sugar bush. Don't worry about a thing.
David Ghantt: I look like if Jesus and a cat had a baby.
Runny: Please, don't shoot. I've got kids.
David Ghantt: Yeah? Do your kids know you're a lying, cheating sack of filth?
Runny: Well... I just haven't found the right moment to tell 'em.
David Ghantt: One-four-three, Kelly Campbell.
David Ghantt: Brace your boobies.
David Ghantt: I'm starting to feel like a corndog at a hotdog party.
