Aunt Betty: Now Kate, we only want what's fair and what's fair is if Woody lends us back some money.
Kate Grant: You can all go fuck yourselves.
David Grant: Well, why did you have kids, then?
Woody Grant: I like to screw, and your mother's a Catholic, so you figure it out.
Aunt Martha: Ray's foot's been bothering him. Ain't that right, Ray?
Uncle Ray: It's okay. Just hurts.
David Grant: How did she die?
Kate Grant: Saw herself in the mirror one day.
David Grant: Hey Dad, you finally got your compressor back.
Woody Grant: That's not my compressor.
David Grant: Sure it is.
Woody Grant: Mine didn't look anything like that.
David Grant: It has to be yours. It's an old compressor we found in Ed Pegram's barn.
Woody Grant: That wasn't Ed's barn.
Bart: We could get you to Lincoln in an hour.
David Grant: Lincoln is over 200 miles.
Bart: Okay, hour-and-a-half.
Bart: So, you got any other cars?
David Grant: No. Just that one.
Bart: What's the engine?
David Grant: It's uh... four cylinder?
Bart: Yeah. But, what size?
David Grant: Oh, I don't really know.
Cole: What's your brother drive?
David Grant: Who, Ross?
Cole: Yeah, what does he drive?
David Grant: Ross has a Kia Rondo and Marcy has a Nissan Pathfinder. She carts the kids around a lot.
Bart: So, you all got Jap cars?
David Grant: Actually, Kia is Korean.
Kate Grant: What do you wanna do now? Bust into a silo and steal some corn?
Sheriff: Hey, partner.
Sheriff: Hold on there, just a second.
Sheriff: Where are you headed, there?
Sheriff: Where are you headed up to?
Sheriff: How are you doing there, bud?
Sheriff: Huh? Are you okay?
Sheriff: Where are you headed?
Sheriff: You headed down the road, there, huh?
Sheriff: (grunts).
Sheriff: Huh?
Sheriff: Where are you coming from?
Woody Grant: Yeah?
Woody Grant: I haven't been drinking.
Kate Grant: That's what you said on our first date.
David Grant: Dad, why didn't you tell us that wasn't Ed's house?
Woody Grant: I didn't know what the hell you were doing.
Ross Grant: Have you ever seen us steal machinery before?
Woody Grant: I never know what you boys are up to.
Ross Grant: Why didn't you say it wasn't yours?
Woody Grant: I thought you wanted it.
Ross Grant: What would we want an old compressor for?
Woody Grant: That's what I couldn't figure out.
Woody Grant: This was my parents' room. I got whipped if they found me in here. I guess nobody's gonna whip me now.
Woody Grant: Have a drink with your old man. Be somebody.
Woody Grant: I'm not trusting the mail with a million dollars.
Woody Grant: So long, Albert.
Uncle Albert: So long, Woody.
Kate Grant: That's Ed Pegram singing.
Ed Pegram: And his momma cried, cause if there's one thing that she don't need, it's another hungry mouth to feed... in the ghetto. People don't ya understand.
Kate Grant: He always did have a nice voice. It was the only nice thing about that bastard.
Woody Grant: It's all right.
Kate Grant: All right? Did you know... he was always trying to get into my bloomers?
David Grant: Jesus mom. Was the whole town trying to seduce you?
Woody Grant: I won a million dollars.
ER Doctor: Congratulations, that'll just about pay for a day in the hospital.
Peg Nagy: I knew I didn't have a chance anyway.
David Grant: Yeah?
Peg Nagy: I wouldn't let him round the bases.
Receptionist: Does he have Alzheimer's?
David Grant: No, he just believes what people tell him.
Receptionist: That's too bad.
Chosen answer: Woody actually drove the truck, but just for a short period before David switched places with him to drive everyone home.
raywest ★