Bradley Cooper (back to the B list / C list)

Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: Aw hell no, I ain't steppin' foot in any type of aircraft.

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Man up! Now get in there, we've gotta finish the escape! Man up and get in there!

Phil: It happened again.

Tracy: Seriously, what is wrong with you three?

Phil: Stu come on, get up. We got a situation.

Stu: Where are we?

Phil: You're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be ok.

Phil: And her dad hates you.

Stu: He doesn't hate me. He's just never spoken to me. I think it's a cultural thing.

Phil: Oh please. You wouldn’t even be with her if it wasn’t for us.

Stu: Oh, this will be good.

Phil: Stu, think about it. You ended up ditching Mellisa and two years later you meet your true soulmate. You take Vegas out of that equation and you would have married a cunt. [To the shocked patrons] Oh it's ok. No, it's ok. It's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody. Oh wait, there's no alcohol - I forgot we're at a fucking IHOP!

Alan: None of you know Stu like I do. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not nobody knows Stu like I do. No one. I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made a pact, more important than blood. What I can tell you is this. This is not Stu's first marriage. There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago..."

Phil: Time's up.

Phil: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you. I mean Lauren is an angel.

Doug: Yeah, she really is amazing.

Stu: Ah, you guys are sweet.

Phil: Not big breasts on her, but still a solid rack for an Asian.

Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.

Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?

Phil Wenneck: Listen, we fucked up. We lost Doug.

Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours!

Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.

Phil Wenneck: We'll deal with the baby later.

Stu Price: Phil, we're not gonna leave the baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!

Phil Wenneck: It's Phil, leave a message. But don't text me. It's gay.

Phil Wenneck: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.

Stu Price: They're really a lot more mature than you think.

Phil Wenneck: Paging Doctor Faggot! Paging Doctor Faggot!

Melissa: You should probably go, Doctor Faggot.

Stu Price: You do know counting cards is illegal, right?

Alan Garner: Counting cards isn't illegal. It's frowned upon... like masturbating on an airplane.

Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.

Alan Garner: Maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so damn sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden!

Doug Billings: Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble. Or drink too much.

Phil Wenneck: Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.

Alan Garner: Hey what's that on your arm?

Stu Price: Oh my God - Phil, you were in the hospital last night.

Phil Wenneck: Yeah, I guess I was.

Alan Garner: Are you okay?

Phil Wenneck: Whose fucking baby is that?

Stu Price: Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?

Alan Garner: Yeah, I checked all the rooms... no one's there. Check its collar or something.

Phil Wenneck: [using the loudspeaker on a police car] Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack. [To himself] I should have been a fucking cop.

Anna: You have an ass that makes me wanna dry hump!

Ben: Did you just say 'Dry hump'?

Anna: Yep.

Ben: I think I just fell in love.

Ben: You may be the best friend I've ever had.

Eddie Morra: A tablet a day, and I was limitless...

Carl Van Loon: So, Eddie Morra... And you do know you're a freak? What's your secret?

Eddie Morra: Medication.

Eddie Morra: What's the asking price?

Realtor: $8.5 million.

Eddie Morra: I'll take it.

Eddie Morra: I was blind, but now I see.

Holden: Stalin once said, "No retreat, no surrender."

Kate: I think that was from a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.