Jack Sparrow: Me I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly it's the honest ones you have to watch out for, you never can predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
Mr. Gibbs: It's bad luck to wake a man when he's sleeping.
Jack Sparrow: Ah, but fortunately I know how to counter it: The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; and then the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye...that'll about do it. [He gets up and Will dumps another bucket of water over his head.] BLAST! I'm already awake!
Will: THAT was for the smell.
[Barbossa is about to kill Will, but Jack shows up.]
Barbossa: It's not possible!
Jack Sparrow: Not probable.
Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word, really. Except for Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.
Jack Sparrow: Wherever we want to go, we go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails; that's what a ship needs. But what a ship is, what the Black Pearl really is, is freedom.
Jack Sparrow: Alright then. I confess. It is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasley black guts out.
Mullroy: I said no lies!
Murtogg: I think he's telling the truth...
Mullroy: If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us.
Jack Sparrow: Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth, even if he told it to you.
Jack Sparrow: No! Not good! Stop! Not Good! What are you doing? You've burned the food, the shade. The rum.
Elizabeth Swann: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth Swann: One, because it's a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over 1,000 feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me. Do you really think there is even the slightest chance they won't see it?
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Barbossa: So you're going to leave me standing on some beach with naught but a name and your word it's the one I need while I watch you sail away on my ship?
Jack Sparrow: No. I plan on leaving you on some beach with no name at all while you watch me sail away on MY ship and then I'll shout the name back to you. Savvy?
Barbossa: That still leaves us the problem of me standing on some beach with naught but a name and your word it's the one I need.
Jack Sparrow: Since I'm the only one here who hasn't committed mutiny, my word's the one we'll be trusting. Actually, I should be thanking you because if you hadn't marooned me and left me to die, I'd have a share in the curse same as you. Funny little world now, isn't it?
Jack Sparrow: I'll tell ya mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted. [Sees woman.] Scarlett!
[Scarlett slaps Jack's face and walks away.]
Jack Sparrow: Not sure I deserved that. [Another woman walks over.] Giselle!
Giselle: Who was she?
Jack Sparrow: What?
[Giselle slaps Jack's face and walks away.]
Jack Sparrow: I may have deserved that.
[Later in the film, Jack removes someone's hat to reveal a woman underneath.]
Jack Sparrow: Anamaria!
[Anamaria slaps Jack's face.]
Will Turner: I suppose you didn't deserve that one either.
Jack Sparrow: No. That one I deserved.
Jack Sparrow: Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them... Three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to get yourself a girl, mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?
Elizabeth Swann: But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you? So we can escape in the same way you did then.
Jack Sparrow: To what point and purpose, young missy? The Black Pearl is gone. Unless you have a rudder and a lot of sails [eying Elizabeth's chest.] hidden in that bodice. Unlikely! Young Mr. Turner will be dead long before you can reach him.
Jack Sparrow: Now you can either accept that your father was a pirate and a good man, or you can't, but pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesie, savvy?