Shirley: Shit! All I can see is female impersonators.
Dr. Alex Hesse: I've noticed that the side effects of pregnancy are greatly amplified... With the dosage of Expectane that l've required. The morning sickness, the mood swings. Sleepiness, sexual appetite.
Larry: Sexual appetite?
Dr. Alex Hesse: Yesterday, just scooping the middle out of a honeydew melon gave me a - A "Steifen."
Larry: A what? Oh. That's normal. I get 'em all the time.
Menchu: Well, my philosophy is, if you're gonna get fucked, you might as well lie back and enjoy it.
Hood: So, what we wanna know is are you a brotha or a sista?
Pat: Well, I'm an only child.
Chip: Mom, are you a serial killer?
Beverly: The only "serial" I know anything about is Rice Krispies.
Comuter Voice: Ralph and Damien sleep butt to face, butt to face, butt to face.
Terry McKay: I guess I'm happy when I don't want to be anywhere else but where I am.
Lt. Jake Stone: Don't ever throw a cat on me again.
Billy: I stole cars at school. Take them over at break. Leave it parked outside the gates and at the end of the day I was the only kid to drive home. I was a fucking hero.
Amy Archer: Finally there would be a thingamajig that would bring everyone together. Even if it kept them apart, spatially.
Buddy: You're happy. I hate that.
Mowgli: The more I learn what is a man, the more I want to be an animal.
Roarke: How come you're on his side?
Gail: I'm not on anybody's side, I'm on everybody's side, I'm the mother.
Maurice L. Pogue: It's so nice seeing all your faces here: John and Susan and Mary and Fred and Ethel, Little Ricky.
W.E.: Family values have gone straight to hell.
Frank Wheeler: Which brings us to... intercourse! Can I have a volunteer?
Dorothy Parker: I'll wear my heart on my sleeve like a wet, red stain.
Senior in restaurant #1: If you have job, you wear the pants.
Connor MacLeod: Where is Kane?
Warrior #1: Don't worry about him. Worry about me.