Jack Hammond: That's the question on the minds of all your viewers? Whether I run out of gas or not? Tell you what, Jer. You let your viewers know that I hope Miss Voss' fear and my desperation are entertainment enough for them. After all, that is what this is all about, isn't it? The story. As it breaks. Live. Coming to you from the bad guy himself. I mean we wouldn't want your viewers to change the fucking channel, now, would we?
Iago: Reality check. Jafar is large and in charge.
Vada: If I get married, I'll never change my name.
Nick: Why? You think the guy should change his name?
Vada: I don't think anybody should change their names, that way you can't find them when you need them.
Nick: What if you don't want to be found?
Vada: Why do you argue with everything I say?
Felix Cortez: What would you say if I promised you that I would reduce the cocaine shipments to your country by half?
James Cutter: I'd say you were using too much of your own product.
Kitty Potter: This is fucking fruitcake time. I mean - is that fashion, is it? I mean is there a message out there? I mean you got lot of naked people wandering around here.
Forrest Taft: What does it take to change the essence of a man?
Manny Singer: Molly, why did you take my cigarettes? Answer me.
Molly: Corrina's husband went out for a carton of cigarettes and died. They all die. The TV said it.
Doug Chesnic: Don't you see? If he is involved, then her life is worthless, you understand? They had to fucking kill her.
Darcy: He said you're a hard man. Just how hard are you, Mr. Jones?
David Sloan: Um... hard enough.
Chris Morrow: Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Excuse me?
Chris Morrow: KGB, for short.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Oh, come on! It's the KG-used-to-B.
Mark Van Doren: Your name is mine.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Say, let's get married.
Kathy O'Hara: Huh?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Right now. Let's go to Vegas.
Kathy O'Hara: But, Eddie, it's pouring and the car top is stuck.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Phooey. It's only a five hour drive and it'll probably stop by the time we get to the desert. Heck, it'll probably stop by the time we get around the corner. Let's go.
Ty Cobb: Baseball is a red blooded sport for red blooded men. It's no pink tea, and molly-coddles had better stay out... It's a struggle for supremacy, a survival of the fittest.
Fumio Funakoshi: What style is that?
Chen Zhen: Don't ask! if it works, it's a good one.
John Manly: Kind treatment makes good horses, Joe. Bad treatment ruins them.
Louis: Then out of curiosity, boredom, who knows what, I left the old world and came back to my America. And there, a mechanical wonder allowed me to see the sun rise for the first time in two hundred years. And what sunrises, seen as the human eye could never see them: silver at first, then, as the years progressed, in tones of purple, red, and my long lost blue.
Paula: We shouldn't be watching this.
Jerry: Why not? I think she's beautiful.
Paula: Mmm-hmmm.
Jerry: You think I'm planning to abuse the doctor-patient relationship.
Paula: Are you?
Jerry: No. Just because I think she's beautiful doesn't mean I want to have sex with her. I mean, I think you're beautiful, but.
Paula: Thanks.
Jerry: No, wait. I didn't mean... I'm sorry.
Paula: It's ok, I'm a big girl.
Capt. Jason Briggs: Is there a problem with your privates, Private?
Tim: Shit! What the hell are those?