Quotes from Richard Jenkins movies and TV shows

Chicory: Mr. Brooder just educated two Mexicans on the meaning of Manifest Destiny.

Chicory: That tea smells gruesome.
Sheriff Franklin Hunt: It's soup.
Chicory: Oh. You think I can have some?

Freddy Bender: Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness.
Judge Marva Munson: I'm going to allow it.

Miles Massey: All right, so much for the ice-breakers. What are you after, Freddy?
Freddy Bender: My client is prepared to settle for 50 percent of the marital assets.
Miles Massey: Why only 50, Freddy? Why not a hundred? While we're dreaming, why not 150? Are you familiar with "Kershner"?
Freddy Bender: "Kershner" does not apply.
Miles Massey: Bring this to trial, we'll see if "Kershner" applies.
Rex: What's "Kershner"?
Miles Massey: Please, let me handle this.
Freddy Bender: "Kershner" was in Kentucky.
Miles Massey: "Kershner" was in Kentucky?
Freddy Bender: "Kershner" was in Kentucky.
Miles Massey: All right, Freddy, forget "Kershner." What's your bottom line?
Freddy Bender: Primary residence,30 percent of remaining assets.
Miles Massey: What, are you nuts? Have you forgotten "Kershner"?

Miles Massey: I guess something inside of me died, when I realised that you'd hired a goon to kill me.
Marylin Rexroth: Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me.
Freddy Bender: No. Both of you wait a minute. Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone.
Wrigley: Hear, hear.
Freddy Bender: Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house.
Wrigley: Miles's house.
Freddy Bender: Whatever. A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, uh, repented, became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself.

Robert: This is really bad. Once your face is in their system they got you. Fines, 401k, home equity. But maybe you want all that. I don't know. Me, I prefer to just skim.
Old Dolio: So do I.
Robert: Do you? Oh, that's interesting. Because most people want to be Kajillionaires. That's the dream. That's how they get you hooked. Hooked on sugar. Hooked on caffeine. Ha, ha, ha. Cry, cry, cry.

Senator Richard Russell: Those Harvard boys not gonna tell us how to run the state of Georgia.
Lyndon B. Johnson: Of course not. But the Kennedys did get elected by appealing to the colored man. Now, if we play this right, we're gonna have those nigras voting Democrat the next 200 years.

The Father: Maybe I want to get caught.

The Father: Please don't see that boy again.

Giles: Oh! God, to be young and beautiful. If I could go back to when I was 18 - I didn't know anything about anything - I'd give myself a bit of advice.
Elisa: [Signing] What would you say?
Giles: I would say: Take better care of your teeth and fuck a lot more.

Giles: If I told you about her, what would I say? That they lived happily ever after? I believe they did. That they were in love? That they remained in love? I'm sure that's true. When I think of her - of Elisa - the only thing that comes to mind is a poem, whispered by someone in love, hundreds of years ago: "Unable to perceive the shape of You, I find You all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with Your love, It humbles my heart, For You are everywhere."

Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the fuck up!

Dr. Robert Doback: We're putting the house on the market.
Dale Doback: Where are we moving?
Brennan Huff: Is the house haunted?

Brennan Huff: Hold on. We're not going on the boat, Derek's selling the house, and we have to go to therapy?
Dr. Robert Doback: Yeah.
Brennan Huff: What the fuck happened?!