Best comedy movie quotes of 2011

Agent Zoil: Motherfucking, titty-sucking two-balled bitch!

Puss in Boots: Fear me, if you dare!

Jerry: You bit off more then you can chew.
Ed: It's too late, man. I told people what you are. You've been made.
Jerry: And you think anyone's actually going to believe you?
Ed: No, No. Don't play that crap. Don't play that mind shit with me. I'm serious. Try me.
Jerry: Okay. You said you're glad you're different.
Ed: Get back!
Jerry: How can you be in a place like this? These people. Even your best friend did nothing to help.
Ed: No.
Jerry: You were born for this and you know it. It's a gift.
[Jerry bites Ed.]

Sonny: Everything will be all right in the end. So if it is not all right, then it is not yet the end.

Kyle: You could have totally fucked the shit out of that girl.
Adam: No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort.

Grace: I finally meet a guy who likes me for me. And I'm not even me.

Richard: [Pointing at a helicopter.] You ever been in one of these things?
Kim: Yeah, we have one at home. This one's pretty small actually.
Richard: Do we pay extra for irony?
Kim: No, the irony's free, it's the sarcasm you're paying for. Ironically.

Katherine: I'm just happy to hear that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding.

Pest: Does that look like a dog? No, it isn't a dog!

Finn McMissile: My apologies, I haven't properly introduced myself. Finn McMissile, British intelligence.
Mater: Tow Mater, average intelligence.

Benjamin Mee: You seem really calm.
Peter MacCready: Ah.
Benjamin Mee: Have you been drinking?
Peter MacCready: All night long.
Benjamin Mee: Thanks for that.
Peter MacCready: Anytime.

Mrs. Watson: Life is like a disco, no matter how the music changes, you just keep on dancing.

Mr. Gilbert: This isn't The Dead Poets Society, and I am not that bloke on BBC 2 who keeps getting kids to sing in choirs. I especially don't want to hear how well you are settling down at uni or how much growing up you have done in the past 12 months. At best I am ambivalent towards most of you, but some of you I actively dislike, for no other reason than your poor personal hygiene or your irritating personalities. I hope I have made myself clear on this point, and in case any of you think I am joking, I am not. I assure you, once my legal obligation to look after you best interests is removed, I can be one truly nasty fucker. Good luck with the rest of your lives, and try not to kill anyone, it reflects very badly on all of us here.

Susan Warner: I feel like I'm your Deep Throat. Have you seen that movie?
Ronny Valentine: All the President's Men?
Susan Warner: No, Deep Throat.

Dave: All right, Ian get everyone to the raft. If the volcano blows before I make it out of here, you have to promise me you'll-.
Ian: Leave without you. Got it.

Elizabeth Halsey: Well, that's my spiel, as the Jews say.

Griffin Keyes: How long have you been able to talk?
Donald the Monkey: Let's see, today's Tuesday so... Always.

Phil: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you. I mean Lauren is an angel.
Doug: Yeah, she really is amazing.
Stu: Ah, you guys are sweet.
Phil: Not big breasts on her, but still a solid rack for an Asian.

Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, these men are armed and dangerous, and you being an FBI agent you're more used to shooting at unarmed women and children...
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Oh, fuck you, Sergeant!

Alvin: She's just so hot.
Adam: I know how hot she is.
Vanessa: That's really sweet, thanks guys!
Adam: Fuck you!