Dave Stutler: I'm afraid of flying on planes!
Balthazar Blake: Well, today's your lucky day 'cause I brought an eagle.
John 'Spud' Milton: I don't know about you Sir, but drinking just makes me sad. It's like the more you drink, the sadder you get... and the sadder you get the more you drink.
Sofia D'Souza: That would be two beers and for Mr. Mascarenhas, chicken soup and breadsticks, please.
Ethan Mascarenhas: Ah you meant fun for you and breadsticks for me? That's entertainment, Sofia style.
Omar Siddiqui: Sir that's too mean.
Sofia D'Souza: That's okay, Omar! That day remains incomplete for us both without his taunts.
Shuya Watanabe: Nobody taught me that killing people was wrong. Where other kids got read picture books and fairy tales, my mom taught me Ohm's Law and Norton's theorum. She only ever talked about electronics.
Mom: Let's go out for breakfast for a change, like a family.
Mona Gray: But we are a family.
Mom: Like another family, then.
Dan Sanders: Miley Cyrus.
Lemuel Gulliver: Remember, there's no small jobs, just small people. Teeny, tiny, teeny little people.
Claudia: Not every woman needs 2.5 kids and a husband and a mini-van to complete her. My friends are my family, that firm is my spouse, I wake up every morning, a happy, single, successful woman, wondering what on earth could I possibly need?
Gina: Ha-ha! So you got it all figured out huh?
Claudia: Yeah. Pretty much.
Gina: Well, I guess we will see.
Claudia: I know what I want and I'm getting it. We're done. Stop the car! Get out.
Tess Carroll: You didn't die in that car crash, Charlie.
Charlie St. Cloud: Actually, I did.
Mike: Give me the gun.
Tony: I'm serious! You know I'm a terrible shot. I could easily aim at your head and blow your balls off.
John: Been in kind of a dark, existential place, to tell you the truth and then... I met your mom.
Paul Hodges: Why did you smack me?
Jimmy Monroe: I was in the moment, and the moment said smack ya.