Polly Nguyen: I say something about marriage, he flip out like time I put fist in bad place get stuck.
Steve McGarrett: Let me ask you something. How deep did you have to dig? I mean, how much of your soul did you just lose by actually appreciating me?
Comtessa Raffaella Pecci Scialoia: I'm so scared of death... It's always so... unexpected.
Woody: What do we got?
Garrett: Well, since they called for a medical examiner and homicide detective, my guess is a body.
Woody: Is sarcasm a prerequisite for being an ME?
Garrett: It helps.
Whiterose: The concept of waiting bewilders me. There are always deadlines. There are always ticking clocks.
Dennis 'Cutty' Wise: The game done changed.
Slim Charles: Game's the same, just got more fierce.
Brian Peluso: You are gorgeous, absolutely, unequivocally, unrelentingly, gorgeous. With a perfect, I repeat perfect, body.
Moreno: Did you sleep with her?
Eddie Torres: I don't think you would call what we did sleeping.
Veronica: Is that lasagna I smell?
Keith: Keith Mars' secret recipe.
Veronica: You double the cheese. Your secret is out... You're making salad? I know pity cooking when I see it. There must be more bad news.
Keith: Maybe we should wait 'til after dinner, huh?
Veronica: Spill it. I promise I won't let it ruin my appetite.
Cheryl Blossom: Color me impressed. A B&E with B&V. What would your Holy Roller mother say about this, Betty?
Betty Cooper: What are you doing here, Cheryl?
Kevin Keller: And where did you get those thigh-high boots? They're amazing.
80's Batman: This isn't a mudhole. It's an operating table. And I'm the surgeon.
Jack Malone: According to the groom, she was an angel.
Martin: I guess love is blind. And deaf. And very, very dumb.
Jack Malone: Spoken like a true romantic.
Miss Kitka: My name is Kitayna Ireyna Tatanya Kerenska Alisoff. I work for the Moscow Bugle.
Dee Dee: Did you hear that gunshot?
Hunter: That wasn't a gunshot. It was a branch that had fallen off a tree due to the insurmountable weight of the snow that landed upon it.
Operation: Broken Feather - S1-E15
Adam Sandler: This is terrible, you don't know what you're doing.
Jake Peralta: Adam Sandler?
Adam Sandler: Yeah, that's right. I collect antiquities. I'm a serious person. I'm writing a movie right now, about the Russian revolution.
Jake Peralta: Oh, really? Who does Kevin James play in it?
Adam Sandler: Ha ha. It's a serious movie...Trotsky.
Jake Peralta: Ah, there it is.
Adam Sandler: But he's got a wife who never wears a bra. [To the guy next to him] I think you're going to like it.
Jake Peralta: Thanks for dressing up, by the way.
Staff Sgt. Boyko: Serve, protect and don't screw up.
Gerry Standing: Will you stop creeping up on me.
Brian Lane: I don't creep, I glide.
Security Guard: Excuse me? What're you doing?
Charlie Eppes: Simple experiment. It's a pendulum.
Security Guard: Sir, you and the pendulum need to leave.
Charlie Eppes: Okay. It drew an ellipse.
Vivian Blackadder: Amad bin Atwa supplied money and explosives to Hasan Mohammed, who executed the attack on the Cole. They're an all-Jihad team that's been together for nine years. If Bin Atwa gives up Hasan, I want in on the kill.
Gibbs: We're not tasked with capturing Hasan Mohammed.
Vivian Blackadder: Gibbs, my brother died on the Cole.
Gibbs: I know that.
Vivian Blackadder: Then get me in on this!
Gibbs: You're not here to use NCIS as your personal instrument of revenge. You get your head around this murder case, or you pull your tailored suit out of mothballs and you march your butt right back to the J. Edgar Hoover Building.