Quotes from Eddie Murphy movies and TV shows - page 5 of 7

Chandler Jarrell: Ha! I got the knife! Now turn on the goddamn lights.

Kee Nang: A child has been kidnapped.
Chandler Jarrell: When?
Kee Nang: Five days ago in Northeastern Tibet.
Chandler: [Laughing] Tibet's a little out of my territory.
Kee Nang: This child is special. His destiny is to save the world.
Chandler: That's a good destiny.

Bishop73

Chandler Jarrell: Hey, bird! Did you just see a little Hare Krishna midget in the tree floating...or it me? [Telephone rings.] Must be Rod Sterling.

Bishop73

Chandler Jarrell: Hey, wait a second. You took a hundred. You took the hundred. No, that, no see, one dollar. See, one dollar is for you. See this George Washington? That's Benjamin Franklin. That's not happening. You got the wrong money.
The Old Man: Ahh...ahh...
Chandler: Can I have my money back? You gave me the wrong necklace too.
The Old Man: You're breaking my heart, asswipe.
Chandler: Oh, you speak English just fine.
The Old Man: So do you. So what of it?
Chandler: Hey, listen man. Give my hundred back, take this dollar and take this, and give me the right one.
The Old Man: Monkey breath, puke face, eater of turtle slime.

Bishop73

Chandler Jarrell: That is a cool trick. Did you ever think about going into show business? Because you could...I could be your partner, I could throw a rock at you, you make it float off, hit the wall. Standing ovations all over the place. You ever hear of Ed McMahon's "Star Search"? Do they have "Star Search" in Tibet? Probably not. They probably have "Food Search." But you know what we could do? We could all go on "Star Search", right? And we give the audience rocks and let them throw them at you and then you can move your hand, make them all hit Ed McMahon...hard!

Bishop73

Quick: You're gonna be the nine-toed-havingest-limpingest bitch in Harlem if you don't stop fucking with me. Now put the razor away.

Quick: How's Sunshine doing on that pick up man?
Bennie Wilson: Oh, he proposed to her four times already, said he would leave his wife and kids and convert from Catholic to Baptist. Now you know that's some mean pussy to make a man change gods.

Sugar Ray: I'm gonna take this little boy home to his mother.
Young Quick: My mama's dead.
Sugar Ray: Well, your daddy?
Young Quick: My father's dead, too.
Sugar Ray: Did you kill 'em?
Young Quick: No, they just dead.

Sugar Ray: Damn, I'm sure gonna miss that place. You know we can't ever go back there again.
Quick: Man, there's other cities. Find someplace else to start all over again.
Sugar Ray: But there's no place like Harlem.
Bennie Wilson: You ain't lying, Sugar. Let me look at it one last time.

Quick: It's not how many you shoot. It's who you shoot.

Quick: I haven't had my ass whipped in a while. Probably been like 1911.
Sugar Ray: Yeah, that's when the doctor slapped you on the ass.
Quick: Yes. That's the last ass-whipping I recall. I'm looking for him.

G: RobertRicky. Your good is Better and your better is Blessed.

Claude Banks: Don't touch this car.
Rayford Gibson: 'Cause I piss on the motherfucker. I ain't gonna touch it, I piss on it.
Claude Banks: Why you got to say nasty shit, Ray?
Rayford Gibson: 'Cause I'm a nasty motherfucker.

Claude Banks: I hope your ass piss the bed with that weak-ass bladder of yours.
Rayford Gibson: If I do, then I'll put the sheets on you.

Claude Banks: You know what you probably just slow me down.
Rayford Gibson: How I'ma slow yo slow ass down.

Dave: Welcome to Old Navy.

Captain: Lieutenant Bottoms, what is your status?
Lieutenant Bottoms: Captain, we had a small gas leak. It was silent, but not deadly.

Mushu: My little baby, off to destroy people.

Mushu: We're gonna die! We're gonna die! We're definitely gonna die! No way we survive this! Death is coming.

Yao: Ah, you ain't worth my time, chicken boy.
Mushu: Chicken boy? Say that to my face, you limp noodle.