Quotes from Eddie Murphy movies and TV shows - page 4 of 7

Dr. John Dolittle: ...Your daughter's turning into a little wise-ass.
Lisa Dolittle: Worse. She's turning into a little YOU.

Dr. John Dolittle: I didn't say you were crazy, you're special, and crazy, a lot of great people in history were crazy.
Maya Dolittle: Like who?
Dr. John Dolittle: Some of the greatest people in history. Albert Einstein, he came in with that wild hair and everybody thought he was crazy. And Muhammad Ali, he came out saying what rounds he was going to beat people in, going "I'm the greatest!", everybody thought he was crazy. And Joan of Arc, she heard voices.
Maya Dolittle: Like you, Daddy?

Lisa Dolittle: ...There's more to this HMO deal than money. You sell, they own you.
Dr. John Dolittle: Lisa, this is gonna be good for us.
Lisa Dolittle: I'm so tired of that rap. It's always for US, but sometimes I don't know who US IS!.

Dr. John Dolittle: ...This should take care of the inflammation. The only problem is, who'll wipe it on for you?
Goat: Does Brad Pitt need a goat?

Woman: Need some help?
Dr. John Dolittle: Oh, no, I'm - we're - we're fine. I'm just stretching my legs a little here.
Rodney: Ask her if she's got any lettuce.
Dr. John Dolittle: Shut your mouth. Shut your furry little mouth right now.

Dr. John Dolittle: I didn't say you were crazy, you're special, and crazy, a lot of great people in history were crazy.
Maya Dolittle: Like who?
Dr. John Dolittle: Some of the greatest people in history. Albert Einstein, he came in with that wild hair and everybody thought he was crazy. And Muhammad Ali, he came out saying what rounds he was going to beat people in, going "I'm the greatest!", everybody thought he was crazy. And Joan of Arc, she heard voices.
Maya Dolittle: Like you, Daddy?

Dr. John Dolittle: You know how to do CPR?
Rat #2: CPR? I can't even spell it.

Lisa Dolittle: ...There's more to this HMO deal than money. You sell, they own you.
Dr. John Dolittle: Lisa, this is gonna be good for us.
Lisa Dolittle: I'm so tired of that rap. It's always for US, but sometimes I don't know who US IS!.

Dr. John Dolittle: ...Your daughter's turning into a little wise-ass.
Lisa Dolittle: Worse. She's turning into a little you.

Dr. John Dolittle: ...This should take care of the inflammation. The only problem is, who'll wipe it on for you?
Goat: Does Brad Pitt need a goat?

Lucky: What's he doing with that?
Dr. John Dolittle: You don't want to know.
Lucky: Just don't let him stick that thing up my... hello.

Dr. John Dolittle: How come I can hear you talking?
Lucky: I dunno. Maybe you're just weird or something.
Dr. John Dolittle: Shut up. You're a dog. dogs cannot talk.
Lucky: What the hell do you think barking is, an involuntary spasm?

Lorrell Robinson: What Does R&B stand for?
James 'Thunder' Early: Rough and Black.

Chandler Jarrell: I don't know, maybe he cut himself shaving and bled to death looking for a kleenex.

Kee Nang: She's over 300 years old.
Chandler Jarrell: How do you manage something like that?
Kee Nang: One of her ancestors was raped by a dragon.
Chandler Jarrell: Does that happen a lot where you come from?

Chandler Jarrell: Only a man whose heart is pure can wield the knife, and only a man whose ass is narrow can get down these steps. And if mine's is such an ass, then I shall have it.

Kee Nang: We'll be there soon.
Chandler Jarrell: Yeah, well, ya' better have a spatula where we're goin' cause my ass is frozen to this yak.

Chandler Jarrell: They're not gonna let me on the plane with this 2 foot knife.
Kee Nang: Yes they will.
Chandler Jarrell: No they won't. I'm going to jail.

The Old Man: Keep your thought as pure as the water.
Chandler Jarrell: Hey, this water ain't really that pure.
The Old Man: Un-heh, neither are you.

Chandler Jarrell: Tell me about the Golden Child.
Kala: Every thousand generations, a perfect child is born, a Golden Child. He has come to rescue us.
Chandler Jarrell: Rescue us from what?
Kala: From ourselves.
Chandler Jarrell: Ah.
Kala: He is the bringer of compassion. If he dies, compassion will die with him.
Chandler Jarrell: So, if something happens to the kid, the whole world goes to hell?
Kala: The world will become hell.