Quotes from Dan Castellaneta movies and TV shows - page 6 of 8

Homer's Odyssey - S1-E3

Homer: Beer! Now there's a temporary solution!

Homer: I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

Homer: Who's going to watch the kids?
Marge: You are!
Homer: Me? But I'm the father!

Lisa the Vegetarian - S7-E5

Homer: Look, look I got my invitations back from the printers.
Lisa: "Come to Homer's B.B.B.Q. The extra B is for B.Y.O.B.B." What's that extra B for?
Homer: That's a typo.

Homer Simpson: Marge, it takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen.

Homer Simpson: Trying is the first step towards failure.

Homer Simpson: No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

Homer the Vigilante - S5-E11

Homer Simpson: Aw, dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.

Grampa: I already got enough doctors poking at me here and pinching me over here and grabbing me down here and jiggling me under here. And that's just the receptionist!

TV Announcer: Coming up next, Carmen Electra stars in "Boobs", about psychology students and their teacher who wants to be take seriously.
Homer: Aw. I thought it was about her boobs.

Homer: You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

Insane Clown Poppy - S12-E3

Homer: I won't lie to you. Fatherhood is not easy - like motherhood.

Weekend at Burnsie's - S13-E16

Marge: Where did you get that suit?
Homer: Whoa whoa, one question at a time.

Homer: I won't lie to you Marge... Well, good night.

Marge: Homer, wake up!
Homer: Why? Did the house run away? Dog on fire?

Homer vs. the 18th Amendment - S8-E18

Rex Banner: You're out there, Beer Baron, and I'll find you.
Homer Simpson: [faintly from the horizon.] No, you won't!
Rex Banner: Yes, I will.
Homer Simpson: Won't!

Cubs Fan ★

Homer the Moe - S13-E3

Homer: Hello?
Bart: Uh, yeah, I'd like to speak to a Mr. Tabooger, first name Ollie.
Homer: Ooh, Bart, my first prank call! What do I do?
Bart: Just ask if anyone knows Ollie Tabooger.
Homer: I don't get it.
Bart: Yell out "I'll eat a booger."
Homer: What's the gag?
Bart: Oh, forget it.

Cubs Fan ★

Tree House of Horror V - S6-E6

Homer: No beer and no TV make Homer something something...
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: DON'T MIND IF I DO!

Lard of the Dance - S10-E1

[Two bandits have stolen the grease Homer is collecting to sell]
Homer: Hey, hey, you're taking our grease!
Grease Bandit #1: It's our grease now. [Takes away Homer's shovel and hits him over the head with it.]
Homer: Daaah!
Grease Bandit #2: We run the grease racket in this town.
Homer: Hey, that's my shovel.
Grease Bandit #1: We also run the shovel racket.

Phaneron ★

Lisa's Sax - S9-E3

Homer: Name one successful person who ever lived without air conditioning.
Marge: Balzac.
Homer: No need for potty mouth just because you can't think of one.

Phaneron ★