Quotes from Bruce Willis movies and TV shows

Rex: Smile Boys... We Just Took Out The Middle Man.

Jack Mosley: Never met your sister?
Eddie Bunker: No.
Jack Mosley: Wow.
Eddie Bunker: So I'm going out to Seattle to meet her. I'm looking forward.
Jack Mosley: Maybe she turns out to look like Angelina Jolie.
Eddie Bunker: Shit, if she do, I hope she ain't my sister.

Jack Mosley: Oh yea, you give the car keys to your best friend and you let him take the old lady to the hospital. You stay at the bus stop with the girl because she's the girl of your dreams, right? So everything is going to be ok.

Jack Mosley: You're a sunny little shit, I'll give you that much.

Jack Mosley: Days change, seasons change, people don't change.

Sonny Truelove: You've fucked up your life so bad! And the only way you're gonna unfuck it, is that you come clean now, Johnny, you come clean NOW.

Harry Stamper: You got any more bullets in that gun, Sharp?

Harry Stamper: The United States Government just asked us to save the world. Anyone wanna say no?

Harry Stamper: AJ, I've got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy!

Rockhound: Hey Harry...
Harry Stamper: Yeah, Rock?
Rockhound: You know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon, and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts, built by the lowest bidder.

Friso94

Harry Stamper: [Refering to asteroid right before he blows the nuke.] Complain all you want, you son of a bitch.

Harry Stamper: Bear would like to stay at the...white horse?
Bear: White House. White House.
Harry Stamper: Yes, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House for the summer.

Sam Landis: Let me guess. You finally want to start that boy band you've been dreaming about.
Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick: Landis, do I come down to the strip club where you work and knock the dick out of your mouth? Against the wall. You're late.

Nadia Gates: Oh I feel horrible.
Walter Davis: OH dare I to hope that you sobered up?

Walter Davis: Nadia I'm taking you home.
Nadia Gates: To Baton Rouge?
Walter Davis: I'm taking you to your friends house! Now what's the address?

Dr. Bill Capa: What do you give a suicidal patient who's got everything?
Dr. Bob Moore: A parachute. I heard it already.

Dr. Bob Moore: Why don't we just drop our pants and see who's got the bigger dick? Then we can go back and have a nice, civilized breakfast.
Dr. Bill Capa: Wouldn't be civilized.
Dr. Bob Moore: Why?
Dr. Bill Capa: You'd be sulking.

Dr. Bill Capa: If I had known it was your birthday, I'd have come by tomorrow.
Hector Martinez: Me too.

Hector Martinez: You're talkin' to me about an issue of confidentiality?
Dr. Bill Capa: Similar to the Miranda oath.
Hector Martinez: If a friend of mine got killed and the only thing between the killer and me was Miranda you know what I would do? Huh? I'd fuck Miranda up the ass. But don't tell anybody, because it's a matter of confidentiality.

Dr. Bill Capa: Always guess the cliche, and you won't be disappointed.