Bishop Cauchon: Poor, deluded Joan. She has no idea she has put a monster on the throne. Those are my last words as Your Majesty's spiritual advisor.
Tony Clifton: I think you sat in some cottage cheese. Oh, pardon me, that's your ass.
The Shoveller: God's given me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Ben Kurtzman: You don't walk out on Sinatra, sir.
Voice of the Announcer: Meanwhile, back at Snidely's not-so-secret hideout.
Assistant at Bewitched: You're wanted on the set.
Lucille: Honey, I'm wanted in seven states.
Miles Logan: Hey, this is the police. Move your busted-ass vehicle. Move, move, move, move. This is the LAPD. We'll pop one in your ass. We got guns and shit.
Judge Tolliver: Myrl Redding didn't fail the law. The law failed Myrl.
Bryce: I only wanted to get laid, instead I'm getting fucked.
Rosie Forbes: You've got balls.
Maniac: You should see 'em.
Rosie Forbes: Mine are bigger.
Maniac: I've been told size doesn't matter.
Rosie Forbes: She lied.
Sarah: Tell Him I'm sorry. I'm too human. Too weak. Tell Him I can't keep my promises. I'm tired of being without you.
Edmund Bertram: Fanny, I've loved you my whole life.
Fanny Price: I know, Edmund.
Edmund Bertram: No... I've loved you as a man loves a woman. As a hero loves a heroine. As I have never loved anyone.
Robert K. Bowfinger: This film is only for Madagascar and Iran, neither of which follow American copyright law.
Johnny: I've never felt this way before.
Helen: Of course not. You're twenty.
PJ: I don't hate women. I love ladies.
Ruth Barron: Ha! Ladies! You wouldn't know any. I bet you date little Barbie dolls, don't you?"Oh, you're so brainy, you're so big! Can I suck your dick?" Can I be alone now?
Detective Jojima: My father was a small-village cop in a town where nothing ever happened. He just hung around like a scarecrow, until he died. But like they say - even a scarecrow keeps away the sparrows.
Sandor Szavost: Don't you think one of the charms of marriage is that it makes deception a necessity for both parties? May I ask why a beautiful woman who could have any man in this room wants to be married?
Alice Harford: Why wouldn't she?
Sandor Szavost: Is it as bad as that?
Alice Harford: As good as that.
Sinead: If that little twink would've narced on me, heads would have rolled.
Marcus: I'm a true cocksman. I don't mix my seed. The only time I touch a white woman is when I'm holding her down for the police.
Albert Collins: Silence is the most beautiful noise in the world.