Hughie Warriner: Don't you believe me?
Police Chief Spiro T. Edsel: Use unnecessary force, if necessary.
Emmett Foley: When you come back a certified hero... it kind of raises people's expectations. Makes them think you're a big guy.
Trevor: I've heard better singing from a mongoose with throat cancer.
Daisy Werthan: It's 7:16.
Boolie Werthan: You should have a job on the radio announcing the time.
Mikey: So how many cases can we get?
Spitz: Three cases. Any more and I think old Mr. Casy would-ah-know something's up, but we gotta get going, shift changes pretty soon. You gonna pull around back or should we both get busted out front?
Capt. Fairbourne: If you were a communist how could you be king?
Learoyd: Only a communist would think of it.
Pete Sandich: There's something fishy going on here, and I don't think it's the chicken.
Alex Grady: It's late Tommy.
Tommy Lee: Dae Han is training just as hard.
Alex Grady: Yeah, but even Dae Han get sleep.
Tommy Lee: Are you sure about that?
Maxwell Smart: Because at this very moment, this warehouse is being surrounded by one hundred cops with Doberman pinschers. Would you believe it? A hundred cops with Doberman pinschers.
Nicholas Dimente: I find that hard to believe.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe ten security guards and a bloodhound?
Nicholas Dimente: I don't think so.
Maxwell Smart: How about a Boy Scout with rabies?
Horace Pinker: This BarcaLounger's gonna kick your ass, boy.
Eugene Hunt: Death is the best kick of all. That's why they save it for last.
Wallace: No cheese, Gromit! Not a bit in the house.
Amos Reed: Let him go, Hooch! I'm sorry, Scott. I don't have the hand-strength I used to. You're OK, aren't you?
Scott Turner: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I was looking forward to a nice quiet cup of coffee, but NOW I'M awake.
Denis Dimbleby Bagley: My grandfather was caught molesting a wallaby in a private zoo in 1919.
Psychiatrist: A wallaby?
Denis Dimbleby Bagley: It may have been a kangaroo. I'm not sure.
Psychiatrist: You mean sexually?
Denis Dimbleby Bagley: I suppose so. He had his hand in its pouch.
Franz Sanchez: Señor Bond, you got big cojones. You come here, to my place, without references, carrying a piece, throwing around a lot of money... but you should know something: nobody saw you come in, so nobody has to see you go out.
King Arnulf: Now, I want you to be absolutely, totally, genuinely honest with me. Did you really, truly, honesty like it?
Erik: ...No.
King Arnulf: They didn't like it! Oh my God! I want to die.